One week on....

[Bettyrubble]

It's been one week since I said I was done. And I t's like he's going through the same cycles that have occurred throughout our relationship but massively speeded up.

Immense sadness - saying me leaving will kill him, crying etc
being super loving and reasonable - helping out with everything

mega guilt trips - me leaving will destroy our kids, everyone's lives will be worse.etc

coldness and anger - leave now, I'm done. Massive shouting blow up with dd15 (sg) that left her hysterical

saying he will do ANYTHING I want if I agree to stay. He even said I hear you that you are done, you don't love me, your nervous system is shot and you want out but I still think you should stay

Saying he finally realises he has genuine issues and really wants to work on them

Calm acceptance- ultimately if you're done I have to respect that, you deserve to be happy

Today he's just being happy and helpful and sweet!


I feel like Linda Blair in the exorcist - like my head might just do a full 360! It's dizzying and exhausting

[escapingman]

Sounds very much like my STBX, except from the admission about having issues. Since I announced I wanted a divorce her cycles are so rapid I can't even follow where she is in it.

[Lauren17]

Exactly what I've experienced as well. Except for the calm acceptance or explosive rage. I never saw that.
Hold firm to you resolution Betty, you've got this!!
Please self advocate in terms of getting out of the marital home. It took several weeks before I was able to convince my lawyer I was in an emotionally abusive situation and needed out. Once we got to that understanding, she rapidly took steps to ensure it happened without legal impacts.

[Bettyrubble]

EM - sorry you've had to deal with this too. It's so confusing

Lauren - thanks for the advice. We aren't actually married and leaving is going to be tricky but not impossible. I've had to confide in my parents who hopefully can help me financially but I feel awful as they're now a bit worried and panicky 😞