Anniversary of the divorce

[Poison Ivy]

Today is the sixth anniversary of the hearing at which my divorce was finalized. I'm in the midst of cash flow problems right now, but it occurred to me a few minutes ago that it is wishful thinking for me to imagine that things would be better if I were still married. Most, if not all, of the things falling apart in my life and the world would still be happening even if I were married and my husband were here in the house.

This might sound gloomy, but it's not intended to be. Rather, it's a reminder to myself and to other folks here that life goes on.

[square]

Hoping things will come together for you soon.

When your boat is taking on water, it's natural to wish you had someone with you to help bail. But for many of us, our partners and ex partners are more likely to just weigh the boat down more, panic and require soothing, and overall add to the situation rather than lightening the load.

Financially, you can make and implement any plan without being thwarted - if you cut back on this or that, it'll actually contribute to your goals rather than being eaten up by a partner who inpulse shopped something, let a bill slide and had fees and penalties applied, or coped with pricey but not useful alcohol or cigarettes.

[Poison Ivy]

Thank you, square.

I looked at my financial accounts this morning and realized that there is one I can close out relatively soon, without negative tax consequences. That took me all of 5 or 10 minutes.

[SonofThunder]

Thank you for posting this Poison Ivy.  Sorry to read about the cash flow problems.  Its good for me to be able to hear back down the trail from those farther up ahead. 

SoT

[Poison Ivy]

The cash flow problem is just life: very much needed bathroom repairs, dental work, car, and so on. I'll pull through. I'm proud to be self-supporting at this stage of my life.

[SonofThunder]

The cash flow problem is just life: very much needed bathroom repairs, dental work, car, and so on. I'll pull through. I'm proud to be self-supporting at this stage of my life.

And you should be proud!  Im proud of you also and your independent fighting spirit balanced with real life,  is motivating. 

SoT

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

Cash flow problems are real and can be very stressful. 

Hold on to how it feels to be self sufficient.  It does feel good even when things aren't going so well. 

I look back on my life and how I was barely functioning a year ago and I can't believe I didn't have a nervous breakdown - I guess being in the fog just keeps you going...

With my divorce in the near (I hope) future sometimes I catch myself thinking - what if I get sick?  who will help me out?  or drive me to the hospital? And, then, I realize, my husband might have - but really, at what cost?  He would have made whatever illness I had into another story line about how he does this and that and look at me and all the rest.  I can hear the comments about how ungrateful I am, selfish, etc....    An Uber will be just fine.

Keep plugging away -