Naming my (ex) abuser

[TiredOfNarcs]

Lately it's been haunting me that the likelihood of my narc ex getting into politics and gaining power is actually pretty high, given the connections he has and the university we go to. Knowing he'll probably use his political clout to hurt a lot more people than he already has makes me sick to my stomach. There's a growing part of me that wants to come forward with my story and name him. Kill the whole thing in its crib before he takes advantage of some poor intern someday or implements a policy that fucks everyone over due to his lack of empathy. I probably won't, just because I don't know if I'd be able to handle the kind of hate and threats I'd likely receive in the aftermath, but I wish I knew the safest way to go about doing such a thing just so I know it's an option if ever I feel like I need to do it to set myself free.

[notrightinthehead]

Sounds like you are worried. I hope you don't try to take revenge. I haven't made good experiences with that. It back-fired and kept me in a state of anger and fear much longer than was good for me.

[TiredOfNarcs]

To be honest, I really don't think I'd ever actually name him. It's not so much the "revenge" that makes me entertain the idea of it - it's the guilt of knowing he is likely going to abuse many more people like me that I could have stopped if I'd only outed him. It's hard to shake this double-standard I hold against myself: if another person had the same dilemma, I'd have no problem telling them that what their abuser does is 100% not their fault no matter what, but I can't seem to exercise that same degree of compassion toward myself. It's just hard