It's been a year...

[Hazel Eyes]

And I feel the same today as the day I found out he had passed. Nothing has changed. Why should I mourn him now that he is gone? He was horrible to both his family and the rest of his inner circle. Mean-spirited and a Cluster B nightmare all the way to the end. I feel somewhat sad that it ended up this way but he never took responsibility for any of his actions that lead up to his ruining his first and second families. And I do not miss him at all because of this. All my grieving happened back while he was alive. By the time he was gone, I had nothing left to grieve. In fact, I was relieved. And so were my siblings. None of us had a good relationship with him. We were treated as though we were the worst thing to happen to him. And yet we were obligated to put up with him because he did so much for us when we did not deserve any of it (which he didn't, he neglected us a lot). I went into no contact with him twice (he disowned me each time). And they lasted for years. The last time was up until he passed away.  By that time, he had long since discarded me, and I was fine with it. It has turned out for the best, and I continue to heal every day. Life has become a much better place and its troubles are easier to deal with without him in it.

Here are some links to my past posts about this. They can give a small window into why none of his adult children are mourning his death.

https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=89284.msg762718#msg762718
https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=89989.msg771059#msg771059
https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=90483.msg773586#msg773586

[Poison Ivy]

I'm glad you're doing okay, Hazel Eyes. Thank you for the update.

[moglow]

Hey Hazel Eyes! Thanks for checking in. I suspect several active and former members get exactly what you're saying. I remember vividly one telling about her mother's passing, that she "left this world middle finger firmly in the air." All those years of being tortured and tormented and she was left with trying to sweep up the emotional debris her mother left behind. Others [like you] had more or less made their peace with the loss of that parent figure long before they were gone. Seems like there would still be some form of grieving what we never had, but it's not as gut wrenching. More of a confirmation I guess.

I hope you are well.