Well, huh

[Amadahy]

Hello lovelies,

I've pondered for weeks and am very thankful for a massive trigger. I've been working on leaning in to sitting with difficult feelings instead of eating them away or self-sabotaging in some way and this gave me a great opportunity to practice ... And what's more, to come out the other side with a substantial measure of healing that I didn't even know I needed.  Whew!

The trigger? A simple Facebook status from a friend's feed: "I have always assumed that everyone loves me and wants to be with me and it's made my life great."

Hold. The. Phone.

I felt like I'd been sucker-punched. I had steam coming out of my ears. I was mad as hell and what does she know anyway?  On and on, the inner  critic tore down. For days, then weeks.

I had to face that I did not believe this and, boy, was it evident in my life!  I could not live in the moment, could not enjoy anything, and could not let anyone remotely close. This has played out in my body with fibroid tumors .... The message I got there was "soften." How? How? How?

Anyway, I began thinking what it might look and feel like to adopt my friend's assumption. I decided to tell myself this, to affirm with EFT (or tapping) and holy schmoly, y'all .... For the first time in 53 years I feel authentic joy and hope and I like myself.

In the not distant-past, I would have eaten this envy in the form of bingeing and felt shame and self-loathing  for it. The envy would have festered and been destructive and I would not have faced, really faced, my sadness and hurt and grown from it.

Y'all, I am so thankful. It's a whole new outlook.  Facebook is often the devil, but can be used for good. Lol.

I don't know if this will help anyone, but I'd love if it does. I feel like I'm the baby stepper in healing and this was a fe-fi-fo-fum step!!

Love and hugs and the biggest respect. What good humans you are!   

[notrightinthehead]

You did it! All by yourself! You let the unpleasant feelings wash through you. And came out on the other side. Congratulations!


I am so happy for you.

[hhaw]

Amadahy:

It's odd how counterintuitive healing truly is, IME.

Thank you for sharing that. 

[moglow]

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear huh? It's always amazed me how seemingly random words things suddenly aren't random or insignificant at all. Part of inner me believes that we're all right where we're supposed to be, learning what we need. That need being met may not always be for us as much as to reach others. We're all teachers - and students.

Feeling your goodness from here. Be blessed, Amadahy.