Has anyone ever tried one of those online therapy services

JustKathy · October 02, 2022, 11:10:32 AM

I'm having the worst time finding a therapist who knows anything about NPD parents. I've had several free phone consultations with local therapists who claim to specialize in the subject, but during the initial consultation, it becomes painfully clear that they really don't understand narc abuse. I've walked away from all of them as my instincts tell me they aren't right for me, and I dread starting therapy only to have the dreaded "break-up" when it doesn't work out.

Meanwhile, I'm constantly bombed with ads on IG and Facebook for these online services where they match you with someone, and if it doesn't work, you can walk away and ask for someone else. I can't think of all the names right now but there are several of them. Betterhelp and Talkspace come to mind. Right now I just need someone to talk to and help me cope with my trauma. My anxiety is so severe that I barely drive anymore, so online sessions are what I need.

Just curious if anyone has ever tried one of those services and if the therapists are any good. I did go through the initial sign-up process on one site out of curiosity but didn't connect with the person they matched me with. She did seem qualified, though. I don't know. I guess I'm just overly suspicious of places that advertise on social media sites, but then, most young people probably find help that way so maybe it's becoming the norm.

Andeza · October 03, 2022, 02:43:46 PM

I have not, but I've been very tempted to. Betterhelp is one that I hear a lot from a YouTube show I watch, and since my issue is driving anxiety, it sounds like a perfect opportunity. Only thing holding me back, as usual, is the money aspect. And having my time and hands full with the kids. If you do, just remember, they're applying for a job with you. They gotta pass the interview.

JustKathy · October 03, 2022, 03:57:05 PM

Thanks, Andeza! Betterhelp was the one that I started the process with. They matched me with a woman who was over age 50 (which I had requested) and specialized in trauma. I googled her and she looked pretty qualified, but I never pursued it. About a week after I did the initial sign-up and didn't connect to the therapist, they emailed me with an offer of a discounted price from $75 a week down to only $60. That seems pretty reasonable, though I think they only offer 30-minute sessions which seems awfully short.

It does look like some of these services take insurance, but I haven't had a chance to look into each one to see exactly what insurance plans they take. I think I'll do a bit more research and see what I can find.

xredshoesx · October 03, 2022, 06:32:29 PM

i'm hesitant to respond bc we have no way of knowing if it's a legit service or not whenever anyone posts something about paying for therapy or services like life coaching that happen on line. the insurance thing may be a sign it's more legit- then say something someone is advertising on their personal website.

JustKathy · October 04, 2022, 01:28:29 PM

Thanks xredshoesx. I agree that there's an added level of legitimacy with the places that accept insurance (and of course, better for me if insurance will at least partially pay for it).

Life coaches are a different thing. I've done that one and it didn't work for me. The woman I talked to had a very good understanding of NPD, but her goal was to "fix" me rather than listen to me. Childhood trauma can't be "fixed." Plus life coaches aren't licensed professionals so they aren't bound by doctor/patient confidentiality. In fact, when I had my session with this one life coach she shared info on someone else, so no, not going there again.

I don't want to be fixed or cured or whatever. I just want someone to talk to.

Liketheducks · October 04, 2022, 08:03:14 PM

I did BetterHelp. I switched therapists a couple of times. While I found counselors who specialized in my issues....I just didn't feel the connection. I think it was the nature of the strictly telephone therapy.

JustKathy · October 05, 2022, 02:16:32 PM

Thank you, Liketheducks. It's good to hear that they have knowledgeable therapists, though I'm sorry it didn't work for you. The online-only meetings aren't for everyone, but in my case it's preferred because of my difficulties driving. Darned anxiety!

moglow · October 06, 2022, 09:58:41 AM

I've not tried the online therapy, but I do know a lot more people are turning to that now. Everything else became remote when covid was so bad so why not that?

For myself, I wasn't focused on someone who understood PDs so much as someone who could help me address my stuff. Mother was definitely a part of it because of how interactions with her affected me, so I needed to learn how to address that. But again, MY stuff not so much hers and what she'd done. Being able to talk that out here helped me set it down but I'd stayed stagnated on how to build/rebuild myself and my own life. I just didn't have those tools and needed guidance on how to move past her. Therapist I chose was very quick to address and have me outright state my therapy goals - I wasn't used to that but I liked it!

NarcKiddo · October 08, 2022, 12:39:13 PM

I have done some online. The option appealed as I have no desire to go and speak to someone face to face. Some of the stories I have told are just not things I was prepared to say face to face (or even on a video call) at first. Now I trust my therapist and am doing video calls with her.

Initially I signed up and picked a therapist but never actually went ahead. They send you a few reminder emails. Then they assigned me a new therapist, should I wish to finish signing up. Don't know why. Maybe the original therapist left or got too busy. I got a couple of emails. Then I was assigned a third therapist. I really liked the look of her (checked her credentials, which were fine) and decided to give it a go.

She has been very good and I am pleased with her. The platform itself has not proved ideal because it is based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and designed for shorter term problems. But my therapist and I can work round that.

JustKathy · October 08, 2022, 03:45:57 PM

Thank you Moglow and NarcKiddo.

I'm really preferring online visits now. I do have a psychiatrist that I've been with for several years for my medication management. Her office was in a very busy part of the city and I used to have someone drive me since my anxiety is so bad. She started doing our sessions via Zoom during the pandemic and it took a lot of stress off of me. It was also working out better for her and she decided to continue working from home, so we've been doing online sessions for a few years now. Not having to deal with the traffic or be dependent on a ride has been great.

Thank you for sharing your experience.