Update 5 months along

[StartingHealing]

Hello y'all

Been a few moons since I posted anything that has been going on with me and my situation.  There are times that I find it odd that it's been 5 months.  Other times it feels like it's been far shorter.  And then there are times where it feels like far longer.

What I have noticed in me is that I'm far more observant, a great deal more grounded, and far more at peace generally speaking.

Notifications from my phone do not trigger the reaction that they used to.  It appears to me that I'm doing better in every avenue.

There are also some other indications that I find encouraging.  My clothing choices have been noticed and commented on in a most positive way.  It's refreshing because when I was wearing what "looked good" to the exwBPD I never once got a single comment from a stranger, in either way, positive or negative.  On a side note, I really do like wearing my kilts 

The court case is grinding on.  There is a hearing on Dec 1 concerning the issue of alimony.  My attorney has a strategy to counter that.  With all the evidence that I was able to provide, my attorney believes in to what the situation was when she was escorted off the property in police bracelets.   The attorney actually mentioned to me that with the sheer mass of evidence, he will have to be choosy in what he presents because he doesn't want to come off as being a bully to the soon to be ex. 

This needs to be repeated for those who are looking at leaving the situation with a person with a PD.  Get evidence.  What ever it may be, get it and place it in a safe place. 

Meanwhile, on the advise of my attorney I have went forward with exploring the possibility of a refinancing with all the joint debts rolled in so her name would be removed from them and the residence.  Additionally, one of the motions the exwBPD had filed was to get me to sell the house so she could receive her share of the equity.  While it's not a "sell" a refi technically is a sale with a assumption of the prior debt.  The cash out, with the other assets, should be enough for her to go away.

I'm to a point where, I don't care about what she does, who she is with, or anything like that.  I guess the term would be indifference.

Found out a couple of days ago, that she has found a new supply.  I don't know name or location.  Nor do I want to.  Don't care!  I flat do not give a s--t.  I did report it to my attorney because where I am located, if a person is receiving "support" from someone that is something that is important to the court.

Honestly, I'm surprised that it took around 5 months for her to obtain a new supply. 

Wishing all y'all  all the best.

[square]

Hats off to you! What an amazing update!

Kilts 

[SonofThunder]

Hats off to you! What an amazing update!

Kilts 

+1 on rockin' the kilts!

"I'm to a point where, I don't care about what she does, who she is with, or anything like that.  I guess the term would be indifference.  Found out a couple of days ago, that she has found a new supply.  I don't know name or location.  Nor do I want to.  Don't care!  I flat do not give a s--t."


Agree with Square, an amazing 5 month update!   You have always had a very solid overall understanding of your situation, your stbx, and of yourself.  Great mindfulness!  Well done on the indifference and love that straight-up definition... "I flat do not give a s—t"

SoT

[StartingHealing]

square & SOT,

Thank you.

square, if your looking for a good utility kilt, check out damn near kilt 'em on amazon.  I don't know the current pricing but when I got mine they were about 90 USD a piece.  Get the belt that is one size smaller than you get the waist of the kilt.  I found that works better for me in that I can cinch it down and it feels more secure.   

SOT, I pray that your situation resolves in your favor overall.  The legal system sure does get it's pound of flesh doesn't it?

Admittedly, there are times where I find myself to be uncertain about things but then I remember that I am the captain of MY ship.  No sharing required.    Perhaps it's a male thing but I do remember every comment that has been thrown my way concerning appearance. 

There have been several men that have commented on my hats ( the fedora style is my jam right now ) and the kilts.  I was a bit taken aback by the positive comments I have received from women.  Given the current state of things in society at large, I smile, thank them, and wish them a good day and go about my business.

Another interesting thing that I have been noticing is that surprisingly, there is still $ left over after I pay the obligations.  Something that still brings a smile to my face.

I have concluded that things take way more damn time than one would think they would take.  Controversially, things that used to take a very long time (refi) is now seemingly going quicker than previously.   I believe that with the carrot of a lump sum, stbx will be agreeable to signing the paperwork for it.  If she doesn't sign then no $$$.

I still have periods where the little green f-ers come to call.  That's when I start going over my list of actions that she has done, things she has said, etc. to refresh myself to not listen to the falsity that springs forth from their mouths.  It's a true statement that one should not believe everything that your mind tells you.  There are occasions where it's wrong. 

Wishing all here, all the best