Her past, my present and possibly my future?

[FuzzyBunny]

Over 9 years the wife has given little snippets into her first relationship.
1)   She love bombed the man
2)   Then after a few months became bored and stopped giving attention to her man. Very rarely was intimate with him. If she did, she made sure he paid the price in abuse.
3)   Started showing another co-worker the same attention. All three worked the same job
4)   Her man became jealous and then they fought and they broke up. He left.
5)   He found another woman
6)   She "did everything she could to get him back". Her words
7)   He returned and immediately she became verbally abusive. Kept on telling him to go back to his %$%#.he refused to be intimate. Again she refused to be intimate.
8)   He left again.
9)   She found me, told me what a bad person her first partner was. All his fault. Poor her.

I skipped point 5. We are now on point 7. In the past 9 years she has never told me to go back to an ex. In the last month she has told me 5 times "why don't I go back to your ex". This all started with me calling her out for what I call her love bombing another man in front of me. The last month is way out of the norm, even for us.
She is 100% worried we are getting close to the end. I haven't reached that point yet but I am not as easy for her to control. Time tells all.

[Lookin 2 B Free]

I'm glad you're feeling less controlled and more empowered, FB.  You're making progress.

This list sounds about par for the course of a PD relationship.  I find #1 and #9 seemed to surface pretty early on and were definite red flags.  I did fall for it more than once over the many years.  Never say never, but I don't think I would again.