EMDR therapy: a discussion

[Boat Babe]

Hi everyone. I have just come home after my first meeting in with a highly qualified therapist and we have agreed that EMDR is the way forward for what is weighing on my inner life. This is going to cost a fortune but I don't care! I'm really excited as this may be the thing that lifts this weight, finally, after six decades. I really do hope it does. I trust the therapist based on her qualifications, the info on her website and the face to face interaction today. I can't wait to get started.

Do in people have any useful advice for me? If you had EMDR, how did it work out for you? Thanking you in advance.

[Call Me Cordelia]

EMDR did wonders for me. Basically cured me of constantly feeling panicked. I do wish I had been able to complete the course. I would have benefited from a few more sessions but we got cut short because of moving far away, and this was before zoom therapy was a common thing.

It was expensive, yes, and also a big intrusion into my life outside of the sessions. I remember feeling so very emotionally drained afterwards. I needed a ton of time to rest and recover. I cut out any extra busyness that I didn't absolutely need to do. Certainly cleared my schedule the day after. I didn't full-throttle homeschool my kids the day after EMDR, just the minimum viable day. It took two good nights of sleep to catch up mentally. I remember frequently dreaming about what we worked on in the session, which itself is kind of like lucid dreaming.

[JustKeepTrying]

I was having daily seizures and aphasia before I started EMDR.  After my first session, the seizures stopped - only to start two years later when I realized I had not processed ALL the trauma.

I worked with the therapist weekly for four months building trust - doing basic talk therapy and getting to know each other.  Trust is crucial - critical to success IMO.  You need to be able to say whatever you need to say in the EMDR and not self regulate your speech.  You need to purge the poison and worrying about the other's reaction will interfere with that.

I asked what trauma needed to happen first - and she said I would know what and when and not to push it.  The EMDR itself involved the repetition of the event while receiving low level electric stem that she adjusted based on my anxiety levels.  By the time the session ended I could see the event as if I was watching a TV program - detached and unemotional.  All anxiety about went away. 

I thought I was so far ahead that I didn't need to process the physical abuse from my ex.  But your body really does keep score and I needed to work on that as well.  Again as soon as I did - I felt so free, light and unencumbered.  Is it exhausting and scary to go through it - absolutely.  It is awful.  But did it fundamentally change my life, yes absolutely.

My advice, commit.  Ask questions.  Develop trust.  Process it all.  ALL.  I wish you the best on this journey BB!   

[IsYourNameNotBruce?]

Hi Boat Babe.

I'm about to start EMDR too so I appreciate you asking these questions. I've been so hesitant for months to take the next step forward.

Hope your journey is helpful.

[moglow]

I started the process but never got into actual treatments. We'd worked through the intake and trying to find some stable ground for me so we'd have a place to start. My therapist had me write out my 10 best/10 worst memories and that was more draining than I'd expected. Reliving, putting myself back into some of the awfulness with md wrecked me and it took several days to get back on an even keel. One thing that immediately stood out though, my best memories in general don't involve mommie dearest, I had nothing *with/between me and her* in my best memories at all. The worst, she appears over and over, and even when if she wasnt at the center of those times she offered no support or compassion to lessen my pain.

I hit a financial speedbump and had to delay but I need to pick EMDR back up!

***
Side note for anyone interested in something faith-based: Out of the blue around that time, my brother sent me a link to Praying Medic's emotional healing exercise that I found helpful. Very watered down, think back to a traumatic emotional incident that haunts you and replay it in your mind. Identify the negative emotions you felt [fear, hopelessness, anger, etc]. Pray and ask God to take away that emotion from the memory, and maybe replace that emotion with something positive. Accept the gift of the removal. Wait a little while and replay the memory in your mind, noting how you feel. Maybe another emotion has now arisen or you may simply feel at peace with that situation.

I tried it with a very specific incident with md from my early teens, where I felt absolute hopelessness and that I'd never escape/survive her. It was violent and ugly and I'd had nightmares about it off and on all my life, like I was right back in it as if it had just happened. I tried the emotional healing exercise, went through it twice actually. And you know what? Now, I know it happened. I can see it and remember vividly what occurred but I don't *feel* it. I don't have that nightmare anymore, haven't since that day.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Mo, that's similar to the effect of EMDR. One of my traumatic memories was of me trying to ride a bike with my father drill sergeant shaming me all the way up the hill at a public park. I can think about that time now, and my body doesn't react the way it did when I am helping one of my kids to ride now.

[JustKeepTrying]

 

My last EMDR was of my husband and physical violence.  For the first time I am able to remember that and not feel an overwhelming panic/anxiety attack or a seizure/trembling.  I've tried visualizations, sitting with younger self, and more but this has been the most effective.  If done well where you can completely trust the T.

[Srcyu]

I read an article once on how to do this at home, it works. Obviously there's no low level electric whatsits.
It involves a manual process coupled with speaking aloud about the memory and the feelings involved.

Works for me.

[Boat Babe]

EMDR did wonders for me. Basically cured me of constantly feeling panicked. I do wish I had been able to complete the course. I would have benefited from a few more sessions but we got cut short because of moving far away, and this was before zoom therapy was a common thing.

It was expensive, yes, and also a big intrusion into my life outside of the sessions. I remember feeling so very emotionally drained afterwards. I needed a ton of time to rest and recover. I cut out any extra busyness that I didn't absolutely need to do. Certainly cleared my schedule the day after. I didn't full-throttle homeschool my kids the day after EMDR, just the minimum viable day. It took two good nights of sleep to catch up mentally. I remember frequently dreaming about what we worked on in the session, which itself is kind of like lucid dreaming.

Wow, sounds intense. That's really useful info and I'll be sure to clear my calendar when we start in the new year. Thanks Cordelia.

[Boat Babe]

I was having daily seizures and aphasia before I started EMDR.  After my first session, the seizures stopped - only to start two years later when I realized I had not processed ALL the trauma.

I worked with the therapist weekly for four months building trust - doing basic talk therapy and getting to know each other.  Trust is crucial - critical to success IMO.  You need to be able to say whatever you need to say in the EMDR and not self regulate your speech.  You need to purge the poison and worrying about the other's reaction will interfere with that.

I asked what trauma needed to happen first - and she said I would know what and when and not to push it.  The EMDR itself involved the repetition of the event while receiving low level electric stem that she adjusted based on my anxiety levels.  By the time the session ended I could see the event as if I was watching a TV program - detached and unemotional.  All anxiety about went away. 

I thought I was so far ahead that I didn't need to process the physical abuse from my ex.  But your body really does keep score and I needed to work on that as well.  Again as soon as I did - I felt so free, light and unencumbered.  Is it exhausting and scary to go through it - absolutely.  It is awful.  But did it fundamentally change my life, yes absolutely.

My advice, commit.  Ask questions.  Develop trust.  Process it all.  ALL.  I wish you the best on this journey BB!   

Thank you JKT. Very useful info. Big hug back atcha.

[Boat Babe]

Hi Boat Babe.

I'm about to start EMDR too so I appreciate you asking these questions. I've been so hesitant for months to take the next step forward.

Hope your journey is helpful.

Let's post interesting stuff as it happens! Today was only my second session and we don't start the EMDR for a bit. My therapist thus far seems really competent and is very kind so I'm very hopeful. Best of luck to you.

[Boat Babe]

I started the process but never got into actual treatments. We'd worked through the intake and trying to find some stable ground for me so we'd have a place to start. My therapist had me write out my 10 best/10 worst memories and that was more draining than I'd expected. Reliving, putting myself back into some of the awfulness with md wrecked me and it took several days to get back on an even keel. One thing that immediately stood out though, my best memories in general don't involve mommie dearest, I had nothing *with/between me and her* in my best memories at all. The worst, she appears over and over, and even when if she wasnt at the center of those times she offered no support or compassion to lessen my pain.

I hit a financial speedbump and had to delay but I need to pick EMDR back up!

***
Side note for anyone interested in something faith-based: Out of the blue around that time, my brother sent me a link to Praying Medic's emotional healing exercise that I found helpful. Very watered down, think back to a traumatic emotional incident that haunts you and replay it in your mind. Identify the negative emotions you felt [fear, hopelessness, anger, etc]. Pray and ask God to take away that emotion from the memory, and maybe replace that emotion with something positive. Accept the gift of the removal. Wait a little while and replay the memory in your mind, noting how you feel. Maybe another emotion has now arisen or you may simply feel at peace with that situation.

I tried it with a very specific incident with md from my early teens, where I felt absolute hopelessness and that I'd never escape/survive her. It was violent and ugly and I'd had nightmares about it off and on all my life, like I was right back in it as if it had just happened. I tried the emotional healing exercise, went through it twice actually. And you know what? Now, I know it happened. I can see it and remember vividly what occurred but I don't *feel* it. I don't have that nightmare anymore, haven't since that day.

I hope you can afford to pick up where you left off Moglow and I'm glad the faith based modality worked for you.

[Boat Babe]

I read an article once on how to do this at home, it works. Obviously there's no low level electric whatsits.
It involves a manual process coupled with speaking aloud about the memory and the feelings involved.

Works for me.

There are many ways to work with our traumas. Glad you found this

[LemonLime]

Hi All,
I'm planning to start EMDR this week.  I'm interested in any updates you all may have about your experiences with EMDR.  Hope it's helping!  I'll keep you posted on my progress.

[LemonLime]

Thank you user!  That's encouraging to hear and I appreciate your response.  I'm so glad it's been helpful for you.