Never thought it would resurface..Stalking??

[Gary Richard]

Hello all... I was here 15 yrs ago and I was a mess... Took along time to recover... Relationship ended in 2007 by her...ran out in panic attack mode... blaming stress on our relationship.. The 2 yr relationship was crazy...bi polar x 100...

Through the years she tried contact.. emails with nothing in them but the footer so i would know it was her.. Then in 2012... both my parents died 6 months apart and she sent condolence emails to me saying she saw the obits in the paper that morning.. Problem is they werent yet posted in the paper.. This led me to believe that she was creeping my Facebook. The next year 2013.. I had posted on my Facebook that my son and I were going to a local blues festival the following night. Last minute, a female friend asked me to pick her up.. We get there, my son takes off leaving just me and this woman.. As we are exiting the concert tent later in the night.. we are walking up the street and who is walking straight toward us with a smirk on her face... freaked me out..

Fast forward 9 years 2022, 2 weeks ago.. Saturday night... Sitting with a glass of wine.. watching a basketball game.. I get a ping on my phone.. Look at the message.. It's her and the message was '?'.. So I responded asking what on earth could she want.. No response till next morning when she said ' Why on earth would I want to talk to you, I didnt send that email'. I said that I had the message in my inbox at 8:40 pm the night before. You would have had to be on my Facebook page.. click the message button... Type '?' and click send.. I checked your profile and it is you.. She responded saying ok... Then blocked me on Facebook and Instagram... WTH... I thought this was over.. I am past it for the most part.. but it is like tearing the band aid off again though..

[Srcyu]

I would say it's stalking. She must be quite bored and alone a lot of the time. It can be over, if you make it so.
That would mean not responding, blocking and re-setting your privacy status on Facebook. Getting a horrible shock because she is lurking (or trying to) on the outskirts of your life amounts to bullying. She's become a pest, so treat her like one and don't let her in.

[Gary Richard]

What I find amusing.. Is that I am 62 and she is 58... Who would have thought at this age..

[hhaw]

PDs don't outgrow their disorders, IME.

When they have a lull or get bored.....they send out feelers to see if old supply will work for them. Again.

I'd say you sent the right message though radio silence would have sent a stronger message.  ANY attention is reason to continue contacting you, IME.

The only way to banish stalkers is to ghost them and I'm talking pretending you can't see them if the appear... don't open the door if they knock..... ignore all messages and garbage binning any notes, letters or cards.  Give them NOTHING for their efforts and they'll go find someone who's willing to play, IME.

Does that sound wrong?  I honestly think it's right. 

[Lookin 2 B Free]

That sounds spot on to me, Hhaw.   

It's amazing the jolt a brush with a PDex can cause.  If you're anything like me, Gary, it might take some days to detox from it.  But if you make sure all contact ends, as Hhaw outlined, and you go about filling your life with people and activities that are really fulfilling and good for you (rather than obsessing about the ex, something I'm very familiar with) it'll start settling down.

And whenever you want to process, we're here.

[1footouttadefog]

Sad part is you are likely not special in that attempt at attention.  She likely sent many feelers out. 

A Narc will feel like they are disappearing if they are not getting attention.  A normal person feel lonely perhaps but can watch a movie drink a favorite beverage and feel okay the next day or so, the Narc will feel like a junkie that needs a hit.

[InTheDragonsDen]

Hi Gary, would setting your FB posts to friends only work for you?

[Gary Richard]

It is a good idea... but for me, I am not going to be controlled by anyone.. I keep my Facebook settings set to public for the world to see... Just blows my mind and quite baffles me that she has been creeping my Facebook for 15 years....