I’m new here and looking for friends

[Phoebe needs friends]

I'm the long term wife of a man recently diagnosed with BPD. Our history includes over a decade of marriage, multiple children still in the home, and more than a decade of emotional abuse. We are living separately right now and he has begun DBT. I have a lot of thoughts and mixed emotions and not many people I feel safe to sort them out with. I'm trying to retain the marriage, support my husband, do what's best for my children, and not completely lose myself in the process. For the longest time I didn't realize I was being abused. Now that I know, I can't  tolerate his abuse any longer. I haven't spent alot of time searching this site, but most other sites that discuss abuse essentially speak in terms of healing AFTER you leave the abuser. My husband is my abuser and I'd rather try to maintain the marriage. I'm just curious if there's others out there like me who are trying to stay in a marriage relationship with a significant other that has BPD. If so, I'd love to hear from you and learn any tips or personal anecdotes that you have for a more successful relationship and how you keep yourself safe from any abuse. I could really use a few good friends that understand where I live and wouldn't mind encouraging me on my way as I keep moving forward.

Thanks for listening!