Realization that non's have the power

[InTheDragonsDen]

Have watched several different videos and read articles about how spending time with an npd partner can warp our sense of self. They need to make us feel weak and vulnerable.
I didn't believe it. Said to myself that hasn't happened to me. It does not pertain to my situation.
Then sitting alone today it hit me. I bought into their lie. Stunned.

They are the weak ones and in order for them to be stronger than us they have to make us devalue ourselves. They can't pull themselves up but they can pull others down.
Long ago my friend told me there are two types of people in the world. He said imagine someone is in the water and cant swim. Reaching down to help them they will either pull themselves up or drag you under with them. He also said, abandon the ones that want to drag you down and hold tight to the ones that have the same values as yourself. (Show me your friends and I will show you who you are). I get it. Thanks to this site and Dr. Ramani. I get it.

[Poison Ivy]

Another lesson from the analogy of the drowning person is that you likely will have to save yourself, by letting go of the person who insists on going under.

[Preamble]

Another lesson from the analogy of the drowning person is that you likely will have to save yourself, by letting go of the person who insists on going under.

So true

[Empie2204]

Have watched several different videos and read articles about how spending time with an npd partner can warp our sense of self. They need to make us feel weak and vulnerable.
I didn't believe it. Said to myself that hasn't happened to me. It does not pertain to my situation.
Then sitting alone today it hit me. I bought into their lie. Stunned.

They are the weak ones and in order for them to be stronger than us they have to make us devalue ourselves. They can't pull themselves up but they can pull others down.
Long ago my friend told me there are two types of people in the world. He said imagine someone is in the water and cant swim. Reaching down to help them they will either pull themselves up or drag you under with them. He also said, abandon the ones that want to drag you down and hold tight to the ones that have the same values as yourself. (Show me your friends and I will show you who you are). I get it. Thanks to this site and Dr. Ramani. I get it.

Of course, we are strong. Only it takes time until we realize that.
I have almost the same experience.
Watching various videos and educating myself about narcissists, I first thought such sentences were just empty phrases, not applicable to me.
I understood all the stuff about narcissism - mentally - but was unable to grasp my portion of vulnerability which allowed the narcissist to subdue me.

In my past with the narcissist, I thought that such a life is the most difficult thing in the world. When I fled, I started to see that the hardest thing is healing. It means learning about WHYS and HOWS about me = the survivor. I believe you will agree that knowing yourself and your strengths is one of the sweetest experiences possible.

I wish you and all other forum members a powerful and blessed new year! 

[InTheDragonsDen]

Thank you Empire. Happy and full life to you and your loved ones.
Focusing on me is the goal.

[FiveForFighting]

Great insight!! There is another quote or response to the narc that has made an impact on me  "by the time you figure out my worth, I am going to be worth a hell of a lot more"... so I say do your best.