New great grandchild . With the sacred DNA this time.

[feralcat]

My niece had a baby NYE. Which is great. I'm happy.

I'm now looking forward with interest to see what unPdMIL has to say. DH and I have 2 young grandchildren, the offspring of my DS.DH calls them his grandkids, and we all get on very well. But his unPdMIL has never been interested. Wouldn't look at the photos. She calls them mine. I've corrected her...silence. It must be very hurtful for DH, although he can't quite bring himself to say that (fog) . He has no other children. But he does make jokes about it.

She's always going on about how much money she's given to ..basically any family member who shares her DNA. Like my unPdM she's had to resort to buying affection. She really seems fixated by blood relatives.It seems pretty passive aggressive to me , as such comments are often addressed to me. Why ? I don't react  . I don't actually care. Seriously. Her loss ( their loss really. None of the family have ever met our grandkids. No ones ever asked to. It would be poking the bear . Her)

So.....it'll be interesting to hear any comments she aims at me. Will it be that this is 'her first great grandchild '?
I'd be tempted to laugh out loud. But I wouldn't like to offend the new parents etc. It's not their fault she's unpleasant.
But I will smile inwardly. Observe no absorb, and all that.

[NarcKiddo]

I have grandchildren via my stepchildren. DH and I have no children together. Things were not always easy with the stepchildren, especially when they had to live with us temporarily due to a mental health crisis with their mother. But we muddled through and we all get on well. I consider the grandchildren to be my own.

My parents have never been even slightly interested in my stepchildren. They have met them but my mother can't even be bothered to spell their names correctly if she mentions them in writing (and the names are totally standard spellings of totally standard English names so she has no excuse). They have never met my grandchildren. Some years ago (while I was still in the FOG and spoke of such things to my mother) she warned me to be careful of my DH because he would probably leave all his money to his children and nothing to me. I said this would not happen. We are a married couple and it will go to each other and then on to the children and grandchildren. My mother was horrified and said "What? You are going to leave money to his children and grandchildren?" I asked her who she had supposed it would go to and she said my sister. Blood relationship, you see.

[lkdrymom]

It has to be something with that generation that it is all about the blood connection.  My husband's mother passed just before we married.  I am sure she would not have considered my children her grandchildren.  My brother in law knows my kids but he is not their 'uncle' in any way.  He is just their stepdad's brother. 

So if she does refer to this new addition as her FIRST great grandchild....agree with her and see her reaction. 

[Call Me Cordelia]

 Hahaha drymom. 

Whatever, PDs make their own rules about who is "in" and who is "out" and then justify it whatever way they think they can get away with in the moment. My kids were blood, only grandchildren, and my mother was way more interested in this boy she worked with. He needed her, you see.  My kids are not deprived, as much as it hurt at the time.

[moglow]

I read this and am disgusted on your behalf. I say that then remember mommie dearest response when her eldest (wealthy) sister passed - mother naturally assumed that as sibling she would take precedence over her sister's children and grands ... Boy was she disappointed [read: highly upset] to find that wasn't the case at all!

[Cat of the Canals]

My pdMIL is the type who'd do this. She once flat out told my husband he wouldn't be inheriting anything from her and her husband (H's stepdad), and that his half-sister (stepdad's daughter) would be getting their house. The subtext being that since H isn't a blood relative of stepdad, he gets nothing. Of course, being a PD, MIL still wants it both ways, and constantly tries to badger my husband to be involved with her in-laws.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Gross. Who do they think they are that their line of succession is so important? Royalty?