What's fun for you?

[LemonLime]

Happy New Year Everyone!
I thought it might be fun to revive this topic that's been popular in past posts.   I struggle sometimes to have enough fun in my life, which seems like a strange problem.   Having fun seems like it should be natural but to me seems to take some effort.   I've been a serious person all my life.   But I'm working on it!

Here's my list as of now:
1.  gardening
2.  walking
3.   playing with pets
4.  baking
5.   new recipes, lately Blue Zones cooking
6.  swinging and jumping on trampoline, though this happens rarely
7.  sitting for coffee with friends
8.  reading
9.  hot baths
10.  shopping for sustainable products
11.  travelling
12.  reading about travelling

How about you?

[NarcKiddo]

Happy new year to you, too.

Fun can be a difficult topic for me, too. Not because I am all that serious, but because I have been made into such a people-pleaser that I have always just gone along with what other people wanted to do and pretended I thought it was fun until I believed it myself. I am currently thinking about what I truly enjoy and working out what I do because others enjoy it or because I "ought" to enjoy it. So your post comes at a timely moment for me.

What I have discovered so far:

I find exercise fun. Even the tough, grindy parts of it are intrinsically enjoyable for me, though I love to complain to my coach about it.

I love using really nice skincare and hair products. I enjoy the feel and the smell. I like my skin to be in good condition. I sometimes struggle with this because my mother drummed into me that I must always look young and sexy to snag a man (or to keep him plus find suitable partners for affairs if married  ). So I have in the past worried I am doing it to look young and sexy, but actually that is not what it is about for me. I stopped using much make up some years ago due to the fear that it might seem as if I am trying to look young and sexy. But I've recently started using some make up again and am really enjoying playing around with all the spangly colours you can get nowadays.

I don't enjoy travel much (particularly the process of going and returning) and I especially hate road trips. My idea of hell is a long trip where you stay in a different hotel every night, with all the packing and unpacking that entails. Going on a cruise cuts out that hassle and I enjoy cruises.

I don't enjoy drinking large amounts of alcohol (used to think I did).

I like preparing and eating food that I consider good for me. I don't like being obliged to eat "treats" that somebody else has foisted on me. Don't get me wrong, I like the occasional chocolate or cake, but when I want it.

I enjoy being at home, reading or being on the internet or just doing daily bits and bobs. It's not exactly "fun" but it's where I feel comfortable and not stressed or anxious.

[Jolie40]

Hi LemonLime

as I posted on the  "2023 goals" thread, I'm in writing groups
I enjoy the groups as we write during the meetups & read our writing to the group

this coming Monday one group meets & then next Thurs another
later in month, the third group meets
this is something I look forward to attending

this month, I'm also joining a women's group that will meet at church
it meets twice per month

we have a puppy, soon to be one years old
so walking, feeding, & playing with him keeps me busy until husband comes home from work & kid comes home from school

[Srcyu]

I like this post and adding to it is fun.
Here's my list:         
1. First cup of tea in the morning especially if the weather is mild enough to drink it in the garden.
2. Choosing clean clothes every day (as mentioned elsewhere on the boards).
3. WhatsApp photos and messages from a close family member who lives elsewhere in the country.
4. Watching certain programmes on TV.
5. Looking after pets.
6. Biscuits and chocolate.
7. Reading.
8. Sunsets.
9. Wildlife.
10. Eating out.
That'll do for now I think.

[LemonLime]

Thank you everyone, for the lists so far!  They all have made me smile.
Keep going!

[Poison Ivy]

No one would describe me as fun, but I think many people know that I have a good sense of humor.

I'll call this a list of things I enjoy:

Reading.
Interacting with animals, especially dogs.
Watching TV and movies.
Walking.
Decluttering (really!).
Going on social media (LOL).

[JustKeepTrying]

Love Love Love. All the positive energy


Camping - just being in nature either hiking or just sitting in my camper reading
Exploring - I love to read every sign and label in the park and museum and pester the docent/ranger with questions
FaceTiming with my Granddaughter - her night is my morning so she calls and while I sip my coffee she sips her chamomile tea and I read her a bedtime story
Open Mic Night - I love to get up and do five minutes in random spots through the country - the energy of the crowd is infectious
Yoga - a blessing and a curse
and finally - making reservations for my full time life of camping my way across the country!

[Associate of Daniel]

Ok.  I'll try not to bring the mood down...

I have trouble with the word "fun".

This thread though, in a good way, has motivated me to delve more deeply into why I'm not a fan of the word.

I think it stems from teenagehood;  I'd see my friends and older sister enjoying physical activity, noise, the company of many people etc..  I didn't enjoy any of that.  I tended to stay on the sidelines feeling uncomfortable because I didn't enjoy those activities.  I thought there must be something wrong with me.  I know I was extremely self conscious about my body and worried about failing or looking silly.

As I grew older, and especially during my 30s while I was married and since, I've realised that it's ok to not enjoy those things.  I actually receive more pleasure from watching others have "fun".

Then, the day I turned 43, I received a text message from the woman who is now my uNPD exH's wife.  She was wishing me a happy birthday and a year of "fun and exciting" opportunities.

All very innocent on the surface.  Except that it was from the woman who was having an affair with my husband. That said affair was the cause of me now (then) being a single mother, struggling on minimum wage.  Also, I was 42, not 12.  I was a grown up, with responsibilities.  A single mother, grown up, grieving the loss of her marriage, scared for the future, trying to protect her son etc..  How much "fun and excitement" did she think I was going to be able to have?  And why on earth would I want it?  I was just trying to survive.

Just now, I looked up the definition of the word "fun". (In a good old fashioned dictionary, what's more! Instead of on my phone.)

Def:  Amusement, especially lively or playful. Exciting or amusing goings on. Not for serious purpose.  Like fun:  vigorously, quickly.

Yep.  Not my thing.

It's been interesting reading the posts on this thread.  So many of them (not all) speak of quiet activities.  Activities of self improvement. Activites of self care.  Activities of taking care of responsibilities.  For those of you who enjoy more rigorous pursuits, please don't get me wrong.  I don't judge you in any way.  Everyone has their own way of enjoying themselves, and we should all pursue "fun" responsibly and in whatever way that looks like for each individual.

A few years ago, during one of our many lockdowns, I was in a zoom meeting for work.  Part of it involved us meeting the new psychologists for the students.  One of them did a meditation activity with us.  You know the ones where you are advised to find a quiet, cosy place and curl up or lie down, close your eyes etc. while they read a page or two telling you to imagine walking through a lovely field.  The sun is shining.  Smell the breeze, see the wafting clouds, feel the grass beneath your feet etc etc etc.

I can't stand those meditations!  I'm glad they work for others but for some reason they make me hugely stressed and frustrated.

Thankfully this was a zoom meeting.  (Thank-you, Lord, for zoom!) I realised that I would fell better if I used this meditation time to do some housework instead of the meditation.  So I turned off the camera and the microphone and, if I remember correctly, I cleaned the toilet and swept the floors.  I felt so much better than if I'd had to sit through the stuff I was hearing.

So... perhaps I'm leaning more towards using another word for "fun".  Maybe "enjoyment". Not sure.  It sounds a bit weird to say, "Go and have enjoyment"!  But you get the gist.

So, the things I enjoy are: 

Bible reading and prayer
Being with my ds16
Solitude
Reading
Walking (at a steady pace) in nature
Catching up one on one with friends
Playing flute
Singing
Napping
Spending time outside
Housework (not all!)

Thank-you for this thread.  I hope I haven't brought anyone's mood down.

AOD

[Call Me Cordelia]

I'm with you, AOD! I prefer to think of "leisure" rather than "fun." When I was a kid I liked roller coasters and movies. Entertainment. Now I would rather create, read, exercise, go out in nature.

[Srcyu]

Associate of Daniel,
Your post made me smile. I especially liked how you dodged the zoom meeting meditation and did the housework instead! Reading that part was ....... Fun.

[Associate of Daniel]