gift giving

[Jolie40]

have a sibling who lives out of state (since past 4 yrs)
even tho I went NC with everyone few yrs ago, I have Face Time with this sibling weekly for about a year
(after I found out she was having a hard time being alone out of state)

today I found out she gave Christmas gifts to 3 nieces but totally skipped my kid
she came in December for funeral & that's when she gave gifts
all us siblings met at a restaurant day after funeral so there was opportunity to pass a card to me for my kid

why give gifts to other nieces but skip my kid?
husband said don't say anything to daughter
she would be sad as she was left out of a lot of things (like sleepovers) by Grandma who favored the other grandkids
now it seems this sibling is taking place of grandma & ignoring my kid, also!

[Jolie40]

it's not so much about the gifts but about being ignored again

PD parent always favored the 3 kids of GC
since I was SG, it seemed our child was ignored a lot & left out of activities

so hearing that the 3 kids of GC received Christmas gifts from out of town sibling but not our child just feels like our child is being ignored once again

[bloomie]

Jolie40 - yikes, that stings! I would feel my child was slighted by this as well.

Has your sibling previously given gifts to your child? Was this a change in the normal?

[Jolie40]

Has your sibling previously given gifts to your child? Was this a change in the normal?

yes, she has continued to give Christmas gifts since moving
my kid always writes thank you notes, also

sibling told me last year that the 3 kids of GC didn't write thank you notes & she jokingly said "I feel like not giving them gifts this year" but she did last year

it seems odd to give to "some" nieces but skip my kid

I also gave her a Christmas gift last year as she visited parent close to Christmas (I went to her hotel)
us siblings don't exchange gifts but I feel since she gives to our kid but doesn't have kids herself, why not?

[bloomie]

Yes, that is strange. I can sure understand why it hurts and is inexplicable. I am really sorry how things like this can reinforce the feeling of being an outsider within our own family. Always hard to process.