Anxiety caused by dishonesty

[Maxtrem]

Hi, I don't know if I'm posting in the right section of the forum, but I think this may have been caused by having a uBPDm.

Usually my emotions are quite moderate and I consider it problematic, but today I have a lot of anxiety.

I actually started a construction company to make apartments in my area. Overall the projects are going well and will be profitable so it's not a question of money.

However, there are 2 subcontractors who have been deeply dishonest with me and have overcharged me. One of them I have partially settled with, but the other one is another story. He talks to me like I'm an idiot and I realized that he was dishonest with me from start to finish.

What I don't understand is the state it puts me in now. My anxiety level is really extreme and I have a strong sense of injustice and generally have very muted emotions.

My rational side tells me that I can just go to court and a judge will rule in my favor. My rational side also tells me that these subcontractors will be the losers since I will never hire them again (I have several other projects coming up and they would have made more profit than the amounts they want to overcharge). 

But still I have this strong unpleasant feeling of injustice and anxiety. I was on the phone with a subcontractor and I called him full of crap and dishonest. I never dared to confront someone like that...

Do you think this could be due to CPTSD and that the dishonesty of these subcontractors would have brought something up in me?

It's really strange to experience an overwhelming emotion (that I can remember) for the first time in your life in my 30's... 

What is strange is that people in my toxic family including my mother have put me through much worse emotionally. Here it's just a matter of monetary abuse from a bad subcontractor. Why does this put me in such a state when I know my reaction is over the top.

Has anyone here ever experienced this?

[Call Me Cordelia]

IS your reaction over the top? Because I'm not reading that here. Good for you confronting directly. Sometimes it's necessary.

Perhaps it was not safe for you to feel the anger at your mother. But with this subcontractor, you are in a position of relative power, you fully believe you are in the right, you can do something about it, and even if you lose in court you can absorb the consequences. It's safe enough to let HIM have it. So those defenses of shutting down your emotions aren't operating on you this time. Could be a good learning experience!

Feelings, even strong ones, are just part of life. From what I've read of your other posts... welcome to the human race!