Curious about this behaviour pattern? (not necessarily PD related but could be)

[Amy-Rose]

Hey again guys! Hope you're all having a good year so far. x 

First I'm not being judgemental of my friend, but am genuinely intrigued by this behavioural pattern, and I've never really seen anything like it before. I'm interested in Psychology and the only thing I've been able to find that has a "favourite person infatuation" is BPD, but I don't think she has the rest of the symptoms for that. I was wondering if anyone hear could explain this:

She seems to develop these "infatuations" or "fixations" on people. The intensity and duration varies. The only real patterns I see are:
They are always female (she claims to be straight). It looks a little bit like a teenager with a crush. She becomes very shy, awkward, and has no eye contact. Then that passes, she gains confidence and they begin getting info dumped on her "difficult" life. If they show sympathy and interest, she's hooked on them. She then begins to try and strike up a friendship.
Usually someone in authority (like we began volunteering at a wildlife rescue and she developed this interest in the manager there. When there she was only really interested in this woman, would linger around where she was, trying to find ways of getting her attention. She even stated once that she 'only liked going there when she (the manager) was there'. We also joined a grief support group and she did the exact same thing with the lady that ran that group.
It's mainly people she meets in person. But if it is a youtube/facebook figure she'll always end up emailing them over something that involves meeting them or joining their group. If ignored, she'll email again and eventually give up.

But nothing else really about them stands out. I haven't noticed that age, social status, appearance and so on really plays a role. It seems very random and sudden.
She sometimes seems to have more than one person to fixate on. She'll also begin mimicking them. Particularly things they say and starts adopting any little catch phrases or speech styles they have. I noticed this with myself, she'd often repeat things to myself or others that were word for word what I'd said.
She does her best to act generous and helpful towards them with this "lick arse" quality and sometimes she'll start referring to them as a friend when they are just someone she knows. She then begins to try and use a connection to become friends with them. Then you get this over dose of her and her life and she begins finding things you can do for her all the time. Then, after whatever amount of time, for no obvious reason, her interest in you starts to disappear. There's no real drama or nastiness that I've seen, she just drifts off. And the only time you see her is when she wants something. She'll often keep contact with them for the most part, but only if they provide a use.

Just interested in what this could potentially be.
Thanks guys x

[Catothecat]

What her behavior reminds me of, Amy, is the behavior of people who repeatedly "fall in love."  It's not the love they're really interested in, but rather the falling part.  The newness of it, the fixation they can give to it, the excitement it brings to their life, etc.  It's a type of adrenaline rush that they need over and over because once the other person becomes familiar they become boring.

So here she is with her new friend and they're suddenly besties who can share their feelings etc. but she's not actually interested in them as people.  What they are, are sources of supply for her needs.  It seems there's no level of genuine give-and-take once the honeymoon period is over.  Then she's all take and no give.  Is that correct?  And naturally, over time, the other person can only give so much before they start wondering why they're not getting anything in return and so things slowly fade.  Then she finds another person and starts the entire process over.

Why she does it--who knows.  It's a dysfunctional behavior pattern she's developed and trying to understand it can be pointless because you never really can.  Maybe with professional help she can come up with some understanding of herself and why she does what she does--and what's the likelihood of that ever happening!--but otherwise there's only so much "understanding" you can try to have of her before you hit a wall of non-comprehension.  I have some friends with very odd behavior patterns when it comes to relationships and while I've tried to understand them and have compassion for them because I know it has a lot to do with their family and their upbringing, there also comes a point where I feel I have to shrug it off because they're not interested in me being their therapist.  They honestly don't care what anyone thinks about their behavior because they see nothing wrong in it.  I see the "wrong," but they don't care what I think.

[countrygirl]

Hi Amy Rose! 

How's the hedgie doing?

This person reminds me of someone I know, who once told me she doesn't know who she is.   The fact that "your" person picks up others' word choices, etc. so easily makes me think this.  Also the fact that some of the people she fixates on are authority figures.  That's like a child responding to a mother figure.   The person I know does this too.  Do you know what sort of relationship this friend has with her mother?  Mine was fixated on hers, and when her mother died, she became fixated on her sister.  (I mean her own sister, not her aunt.)   

And I think Catothecat's analogy to people who just like being in love, not really caring about the object, is an apt. one. 

[Amy-Rose]

Hi country girl!

Hedgie is doing well and will be being released next month. He brought himself out of hibernation a few times but is still very sleepy. Once he wakes up fully he can be released. Got an all clear from the rescue to release him in my own garden, so at least I can watch his recovery. If they've been wild, they go back to being wild fast. But since he was so young when I found him we are a bit concerned he wont take to the wild. But my area is full of other hedgie's so I'm hoping that'll help.

[countrygirl]

Hi Amy Rose!

Thanks for letting me know how the little hedge is doing!  Your description of him waking up a bit too early resonates for me, since I was up too early this morning.  Needed to hibernate longer...

It is so nice that you can release him at your place.  I hope he will be able to return to the wild.  If he is not, will you keep him as a pet?  I know you would prefer that he return to the wild, of course, for his sake.  Please keep us posted! 

Also, I was wondering how things are with the friend who you described earlier in your previous post.   People are just too complicated.   Thus, part of the attraction to animals, although they are more complicated than non-animal loving people might imagine!

[Amy-Rose]

Hey,
We have all ready discussed it at the rescue and if he wont go back into the wild then we've decided it would be best for him to remain a pet. Either way he'll always have a home with me. I fostered a grey squirrel 5 years ago and released her in my garden and she still lives there, still comes to me for food and company and still want to hide in my house if anything frightens her. Animals are authentic and that's what I like about them. They are also honest.

Her patterns have just continued. I mind my own business but as I'm interested in human behaviour and haven't seen this behaviour before I just wanted to ask about it. Haven't seen her much lately as she's very inconsistent and not very committed to anything.

[countrygirl]

Hi!

Glad to hear the hedgie will remain with you, one way or another!

Although I don't have hedgehogs where I live, there are tiny red squirrels.  I think they are smaller than English red squirrels; these only weigh about eight ounces.   They are very charming.  In fact, squirrels in general are.

Glad to know you are able to keep your distance from that person.  People who don't really know who they are and who don't understand their own behavior can be dangerous. I agree that animals are authentic, and they arne't really manipulative, although some can be, in their way!