Is it Possible to Have a Graceful Transition from Narcarsist

[Here Again]

I don't want to blow up in anger and have anger be my fuel to get out of this toxic relationship.

I want to have a graceful transition, part ways amicably.

Is that possible? Have others done this, if so, what does it look like?

[Boat Babe]

Any relationship breakdown is difficult and often fraught with painful emotions and sometimes agonizing decisions. Add a personality disorder to the mix and you can add fear, anxiety and very real damage, to persons and property.

In my opinion you get out of an abusive relationship in the best way possible FOR YOU.  Once a person starts abusing their partner, they forgo the right to a civilized discussion and an upfront exit plan.

I left my uber malignant uNPDbf with no notice, moving out while he was at work. I had no choice and have zero regrets.

[escapingman]

Here again, I think the only possible way for an amicable split with a PD is if the PD already have their next supply secured and literally have no need for you. I tried to leave my uNPDstxw several time and she did anything to guilt trip me to stay. When I eventually filed for divorce she got very hostile and tried to make me change my mind by upping her abuse. In the end I had to leave unannounced and get the court to remove her from the house.

So in short, yes it is possible it could be done amicable - but it won't be your choice if that is to happen and nothing you can do about it.

[InTheDragonsDen]

Here Again, The best and only way is to plan your exit carefully when you are sure they are not at home. Leaving while they are present, or trying to sit down and discuss the break up will be epic for all the wrong reasons.

There is no normal closure in these types of relationships. There is no way to exit amicably.

Has your partner been reasonable so far? Calmly discussing situations? Will they sit down and work out solutions to the issues in the relationship in a fair manner to benefit both partners? Do they keep their agreements? Are they able to give and take in the relationship? Are they prone to anger? Rage? Does everything have to be their way? Do they consider your point of view or do they dismiss it?

Their past behavior is their future behavior. Search youtube videos, Dr Ramani, one of the leading doctors on narcissism. "How do you break up with a narcissist?" There are a lot of other helpful videos dealing with the non or normal partner and healing.

From my experience, my npd partner goes into full rage when things do not go her way. Have a plan to leave. Have everything I need but I need her to have something to go to with her friends so I can have the time to exit quietly and safely. Once I am out, my lawyer will contact her and explain the situation. There is nothing left to discuss. She doesn't want to discuss. She needs to be in control.

Hold no grudges. No thoughts of anger. I just want out and enjoy life.

Good luck on your life journey!

[seafarer]

As I am currently in the process of divorcing my undiagnosed PDW and still living in the same house with her, my experience is that there has been times when things are civil and it seems that a graceful exit might be possible.  However, then a split occurs and the accusations of cheating, being controlling, and other awful things she imagines me to do or have done start.  This past Sunday was such a day where if I was in the house I was constantly bombarded with all kinds of accusations and if I left she was accusing me of going to see  the "other" woman and having sex with women much younger than me.  She also accused me of driving my first wife who died of cancer to an early grave. 

As has been advised by others, if leaving is an option I would highly recommend you do so and go NC as soon as possible.  As for me, I am hoping my PDW moves out this weekend and my divorce can be finalized in the next week of two.  I doubt things will be that easy though.  I am mentally preparing for whatever she throws my way.

[moglow]

I think it has to become mind over matter - if I don't mind, it doesn't matter. It's consciously stepping away from the dramatics and chaos, and remaining detached come what may. And yes, it's a process. It will continue to be a process until we get it. The grace is OURS and we have to give it first to ourselves.

My zen moment for this morning.