Really funny but also stupid/selfish thing my Dad did

[p123]

So he calls me - someone knocked his door and asked him if they could leave a parcel for his neighbour. Shock horror - yes Dad this is perfectly normal.

"But But apparently they're in India for weeks"

So I asked him is the parcel large - no. Then don't worry keep hold of it until they get back no issues.

"But my other neighbour said it could be drugs in the parcel!!!!"

How do you work that out Dad? You live in a small rural town, not South Central LA. Have you any reason to suspect your neighbour is a crack dealer then?

"It says amazon on the parcel and that's in South America where drugs come from".

Honestly, I couldn't stop laughing. No amount of me telling him that amazon is probably the biggest parcel sender in the world will change his mind...

The sad/selfish bit is that hes now dumped the parcel on the neighbours doorstep to get wet and/or stolen because he thinks its drugs. I told him was being a bit weird thinking that and dumping what could be an expensive parcel like this is really not a nice neighbourly thing to do. Dad, as always, doesn't care about that - hes got his idea in his head now and thats its.

[NarcKiddo]

That is funny.

But also awful. I mean, Amazon will have registered it as delivered if he accepted it. They will probably also have registered to whom it was delivered so his neighbours may well be very cheesed off with him when they get back and find out what has happened.

[Cat of the Canals]

Amazing the way their minds work. One of my favorite "funny" PDmil stories is when she found feces on her doorstep and jumped to the conclusion that someone had put them there on purpose and was "trying to send a message." A message? For you? From whom? But she's the center of the universe so it MUST have been "on purpose."

Then a few weeks later she found out there was a fox in the neighborhood who had done the same to several doorsteps, as a way of marking territory. She has enough sense of humor that she laughed about it, but she certainly didn't learn anything from it (i.e. stop being so paranoid and thinking everyone's obsessively thinking about you).

[Liketheducks]

"Isn't Amazon where the drugs come from"......This is gold!   LOL

[Jessie]

It's also where tropical fish come from. Tell him he needs an aquarium.

[p123]

That is funny.

But also awful. I mean, Amazon will have registered it as delivered if he accepted it. They will probably also have registered to whom it was delivered so his neighbours may well be very cheesed off with him when they get back and find out what has happened.

Told him all this..... But as usual, his attitude is "but what if it is"

[p123]

"Isn't Amazon where the drugs come from"......This is gold!   LOL

He watches the news and all the bad bits stick with him...... But only half of it so he gets it backwards half the time.

He hates it when I got on holidays to the US - hes sure there are drive by shootings on every corner, everyone is on crack etc.  I always tell him the biggest crook where I go is a big mouse (Florida).

Quite often if I'm 15 mins late visiting him he'll stand there "OMG I was so worried something had happened to you". Its tiring if I'm honest. I always say "Yeh Pirates".

In all honesty, yes I live in a semi-urban area but the chances of being victim to some sort of car jacking - I can't remember EVER seeing anything like that. Yes its 20 miles to a big city but, for those of you now in the UK, there is pretty much zero gun crime, and crime rate is low. Not saying you'd be well advised not to go certain places at nighttime but driving down the motorway (interstate) no chance of any issues.

(although I always think its weird seeing signs for rest areas in florida and it says security at night - Wow!)

[Escaped_Goat]

They are such a bag of wild contradictions. It is fascinating watching their delusions play out.

If my dad ever got a call where there was no answer he'd just know it was one of his exes. I tried explaining how cold calling systems work but no, it was a woman who he had dated for 5 weeks 25 years ago.

[escapingman]

p123, this is both sad and funny as you say. I have so many similar stories from my STBX side of the family and particular STBX, I better not tell them to anyone as no one would believe them.

[Boat Babe]

My mother would do something like that. Last time I visited her she was terrified because the post office had left a standard note saying there was an item that they hadn't delivered and it needed picking up at the local post office. Off we go together because she's so scared and it was the weekly newsletter from her church that had an inadequate postage stamp and needed the difference paying. Drama, drama, drama.

[moglow]

Wow. The mountains from molehills never cease to amaze, do they? Because south america is where drugs come from??  Okay dad. You do you.

[p123]

Ha ha I see my Dad is not the only one - I just don't get how they manage to drag so much drama out of a situation.....

To be honest, my Dad can't cope with the slightest change nor does he want to - he'd be way better off in a home where he doesn't even need to think about anything.

[NarcKiddo]

- he'd be way better off in a home where he doesn't even need to think about anything.

Be careful what you wish for! My MIL has always made drama out of nothing and will tell lies at the drop of a hat just for effect. On several occasions she had my husband fly to the other end of the country because she had a health crisis (and last minute cheap flights ain't cheap) which was a total lie. She had "misunderstood" the doctor.

Anyway, she is now in a home and has nothing to think about. But she can't live without drama and crisis so she now balloons the tiniest thing and goes on about it forever on the phone. At least there is no excuse for dragging us up there to deal with an emergency, but they never stop. Her latest wheeze was to say she needed a new phone. Got one. Got family to set it up (but stupid family did not confiscate the old one). Then she hated the new phone and rang wrong numbers at weird hours. Stupid family let her go back to the old one but did not take the new one away. So she has now decided the new one is the one to use and wanders around with that, with no connectivity. To be fair to her, dementia is setting in, but this behaviour is typical of her. And the drama when family rings and gets no reply and has to call the home to check she is still alive is of course a very desirable result.

[p123]

- he'd be way better off in a home where he doesn't even need to think about anything.

Be careful what you wish for! My MIL has always made drama out of nothing and will tell lies at the drop of a hat just for effect. On several occasions she had my husband fly to the other end of the country because she had a health crisis (and last minute cheap flights ain't cheap) which was a total lie. She had "misunderstood" the doctor.

Anyway, she is now in a home and has nothing to think about. But she can't live without drama and crisis so she now balloons the tiniest thing and goes on about it forever on the phone. At least there is no excuse for dragging us up there to deal with an emergency, but they never stop. Her latest wheeze was to say she needed a new phone. Got one. Got family to set it up (but stupid family did not confiscate the old one). Then she hated the new phone and rang wrong numbers at weird hours. Stupid family let her go back to the old one but did not take the new one away. So she has now decided the new one is the one to use and wanders around with that, with no connectivity. To be fair to her, dementia is setting in, but this behaviour is typical of her. And the drama when family rings and gets no reply and has to call the home to check she is still alive is of course a very desirable result.

I remember getting a cell/mobile for my Dad years ago - never uses it. He just could not see the point in having one.

Then he got taken into hospital. So he took the phone. One day he asked me to speak to my brother about why he wouldnt speak to him from hospital.
Then it turns out Dad would take i out the box, turn it on, ring me, then he'd ring my brother and there'd be no answer, so he'd turn the phone off and put it back in the box.

Telling him 100 times that mobile phones you leave turned ON made no odds.

[p123]

Alas hes now dumped the parcel out in the rain on neighbours doorstep stating "well it might be drugs".

You know those occasions where you're ashamed of your parent and they're selfish actions, yeh this is one of them.

[lkdrymom]

- he'd be way better off in a home where he doesn't even need to think about anything.

Be careful what you wish for! My MIL has always made drama out of nothing and will tell lies at the drop of a hat just for effect. On several occasions she had my husband fly to the other end of the country because she had a health crisis (and last minute cheap flights ain't cheap) which was a total lie. She had "misunderstood" the doctor.

Anyway, she is now in a home and has nothing to think about. But she can't live without drama and crisis so she now balloons the tiniest thing and goes on about it forever on the phone. At least there is no excuse for dragging us up there to deal with an emergency, but they never stop. Her latest wheeze was to say she needed a new phone. Got one. Got family to set it up (but stupid family did not confiscate the old one). Then she hated the new phone and rang wrong numbers at weird hours. Stupid family let her go back to the old one but did not take the new one away. So she has now decided the new one is the one to use and wanders around with that, with no connectivity. To be fair to her, dementia is setting in, but this behaviour is typical of her. And the drama when family rings and gets no reply and has to call the home to check she is still alive is of course a very desirable result.

I remember getting a cell/mobile for my Dad years ago - never uses it. He just could not see the point in having one.

Then he got taken into hospital. So he took the phone. One day he asked me to speak to my brother about why he wouldnt speak to him from hospital.
Then it turns out Dad would take i out the box, turn it on, ring me, then he'd ring my brother and there'd be no answer, so he'd turn the phone off and put it back in the box.

Telling him 100 times that mobile phones you leave turned ON made no odds.

My father thought mobile phones could only talk to other mobile phones.  Worked out well for me cause he could never figure out his mobile phone so he would call from his home phone to my home phone. I rarely checked my home phone messages.

[p123]

Thats a brill one.... When I go on holidays to Florida I tell him it costs £5 a minute to call home (it doesnt its like 10c or something). But he believes.

No way do I want to listen him pretending to be ill and telling me how he cant cope without me to help him.

[Andeza]

With inflation, this year you should tell him it's up to 10.

[nanotech]

I can't believe the Amazon story! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[p123]

I can't believe the Amazon story! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I know hes clueless - thing is though, in his head, hes "pretty good with tech",

Remember the time I went around and he asked me what a "flattop" was? It was funny - he'd had those scammers on the phone and they were asking him and you can guess what they were asking him if he had.... lol.