Yet another UTI turns mom into a demon toddler

[wisingup]

This my uBPDm's third UTI that we know of.  I suspect a lot of her dementia-like behavior in the last 5 years has been due to undiagnosed infections, since she was recently told by a geriatrician that she has no signs of Alzheimer's or any other type of dementia. 

My brother and I took her to urgent care this morning.  She always gets very childlike during these episodes.  And usually quite pleasant and compliant.  This one was different though.  Imagine the most annoying defiant toddler behaviors & that is what she was doing.  Interrupting every conversation to make irrelevant comments.  Insisting on "helping" us in ways that made everything harder.  Laughing at us when we got frustrated with her.

After finishing up at urgent care, my brother offered to stay with her to make sure she took her evening antibiotic.  He brought in his work laptop to work on while he hung out.  Mom tried to pick up the laptop & he asked her not to touch it.  And that set something off in her - she obsessed on the laptop insisting on touching it wherever he moved it to.  The more frustrated he got, the more she laughed and kept at it.  It was truly bizarre to watch.   I could tell she was upset at being told no & the laughing was a coping response - she could just as easily have been crying or yelling.

But wow - it was like her pure instinctive behavior was on display, without her logical brain holding her back as it would normally do to some degree.  Her "inner child" got to run wild for a few hours.  Quite a sight.

[Srcyu]

You understand your uBPDm very well. She is fortunate that you do.
I feel such sympathy for your brother who obviously had quite a bit of work to do on his laptop.

No-one seems to know why uti infections can cause behaviour like that but it's widely recognised that they do.
I like your down to earth observations of her inner child being on full view.

I hope she settles down to her "normal" behaviour really soon.



milly

[wisingup]

Thank you Windmill!  My brother is usually very patient with her & even manages some warmth toward her when she's behaving well.  She was really targeting him this time & I could feel his blood pressure rising. 

It seems that she has switched to him as her surrogate parent, after it being me for most of the past 50 years.  I hate watching him struggle with this, but at least he is coming to fully understand why I went so off the rails a few years ago when I finally reached my breaking point.

I was very glad that he called me to come help him deal with the episode.  Having both of us there working as a team makes a huge difference.

[Aingeal]

It's amazing they know EXACTLY what buttons to push!  My elderly narcmom has turned into a toddler herself - especially when told "NO/Don't touch that".  If narcmom knows it will get your goat, she'll do it all the more. 

I'm so glad that you and your brother work as a team and are onto her shenanigans.  I hope your Mom is feeling better soon and also that you and your brother can get some stress free downtime - I know what it's like to be pushed to the breaking point by a narc.  Take care of yourselves (and please don't let your guard down - that's always my first mistake)

[wisingup]

If narcmom knows it will get your goat, she'll do it all the more.

Yes, this is so true!  I hate to think that my mother actually tries to upset her kids in order to keep the upper hand, but that is what she does.