Blinded with Anger, determined

[RiverPurl]

Me and the other person who is an estranged sibling fell out years ago.

It happened after a row. She turned horrible.  We are sisters and we were living at home. I had my own part ó play in the fall out too. I felt like I could only really block her out at the time.

There was a period a number of years after that we got on well at a funeral and I thought that would be it and we could put it all behind us. Within weeks of the funeral. She turned nasty. She started picking at everything and lashing out by messages.  She raised old stuff even going back to much older stuff that had nothing to do with us falling out. Any time her communication came in, it was sprinkled with abuse and insults and mockery and unwritten threats.   She was ignored for a lot.

To this day she is still in the same place.  She is demanding for acknowledgements out of me. Not only acknowledgments, her tone is that, she thinks she is owed. There is a tone where, she doesn't want to be friends with me. Just just wants me to engage with her.

I tried engaging with her before but it didn't work out. She insulted me and then mocked me and then started with her filthy claims.  That was the last straw for me. There was no more to do with us. I realised that I can't fix this with her.

She is horrible. Even ignoring her doesn't work.

She's utterly determined.

[Jolie40]

Hi River,

I started threads about one of my siblings. It seems she acted like PD parent.
Treating me like the scapegoat just as PD parent treated me..
She even called me to blame me (when we had landline) for what happened at a family meeting saying it was my fault. Thing is I couldn't attend mtg as our kid had a recital!

On phone calls, she brings up past, accuses me of stuff, & stresses me out.

I was going to stop calling her period but after a few weeks of not calling, I let it go & called again.
When she "acts up", I wait a few weeks to call back.

She doesn't have my cell (only husband does) , so I can now control amt of interaction.

I know it's tough, RiverPurl!

[moglow]

There are no answers for behavior like that, no explanation or limits for her apparently. All a body can reasonably do is everything they can to maintain distance. To not engage. To depersonalize and -somehow- rise above and know none of that is your stuff. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. I'm sadly blessed that md is totally opposite with us and doesn't even attempt to have any kind of relationship anymore. It's not easy but it's not living on edge anymore either.