My husband lost his father tonight.

[sunshine702]

Trigger warning for grief loss

My husband lost his father tonight.  Sigh.

Oh my god what a night.  We found him in the up shop in the boat.   My husband did CPR - Firefighter paramedics came.  The whole family came then the funeral home came. 

I have such guilt right now because I have thought of my own parents passing for years because I have such a frought relationship most of my adult life with them.  And I just talked to my own parents tonight. And hour before.  Dad went good.  He was pleased at my new job success but my mom of course told me how her and H (source) like lip balm from LP better than the one I called to see if she could get me another.  It is from close to her but hey it's ok I found it online.  It was just me trying to connect with her - hey you got me lip balm A I loved it could you pick up another and I can pay you.  Simple right.  Not with my Narc mom.  How the one I like is Meah.

I really liked my husband's parents because there was none of that.  They were sweet and straightforward. 

G that passed would alway say Hey J to me.  Hey doggies and pat them.   He would help us fix things. 

I think it is a I weird guilt thing because I likely will not grieve like my husband is right now.   They were straightword close.  We just are not.

I phoned my brother who I am close to and told him thanks you.  He lives close and will be the one doing this when it is our turn. 

[Poison Ivy]

I'm sorry about the death of your father-in-law, sunshine702. I think we might feel loss for several reasons when a "good" person dies: their absence from the earth; the grief for their family members and friends; grief for ourselves if we have relatives or friends, especially ones still alive, for whom we won't feel similar grief because they aren't "good" people.

[sunshine702]

I am doing my best to be a good wife and comfort and support my husband in his grief.
His mom too.  Oh my gosh....

It has brought up reminders of my grieving periods. 

[Andeza]

Remember to take breaks for yourself to grieve and allow your own emotions to do their thing. Supporting others is great, but at least personally I know I tend to support others so much that I'm still waiting to grieve until they've all mostly dealt with their stuff. Adds extra strain and stress into the equation.

[SunnyMeadow]

I'm sorry to hear about your father-in-law's death. It's so nice to have sweet and straightforward in laws. The phone call with your mom really points that out. Take time for yourself and grieve when you need to.

[sunshine702]

I planned where I am going to stay when my own parents pass away.  It seemed really wise tonight.  I will want to know exactly where I am going and a nice safe place I can travel with my beloved doggies. 

That is is only reason I want to go back.  The Air B and B looks nice and flexible and affordable.  I can hop in the car make it to main city x I know right where to stay then on up and in.  I even researched where to get comfort pizza and what hours the nice pub is open.  Sigh.