Is it common to be obsessed with "Buy Nothing" on Facebook?

[IsleOfSong]

My wife is definitely not a hoarder, but she has become increasingly obsessed with a "Buy Nothing" group she belongs to on Facebook. For those not in the know, "Buy Nothing" groups are geographically based local groups in which members post something they're giving away for free (typically you'll see household items like juice squeezers or lamps, as well as clothing), and then other members who are interested in those items can put in a request to receive them. In theory it's a nice enough thing, but my wife is on there every day, and I have reminded her that just because something is being offered for free doesn't mean you have to accept it. Nevertheless, she's frequently bringing something from "Buy Nothing" into the house, and I'm kind of like "Why do we 'need' these things?" She always says how great it is that none of this stuff is going to the landfill, but she's no environmentalist; she just likes free stuff. (To be fair, she's unloaded plenty of things of hers on there as well, though in my opinion much of it clutter that she probably shouldn't have bought in the first place.)

To be clear, I couldn't care less if she gets halfway decent second-hand clothing on there; that's her business. But this isn't the Great Depression, and we are fairly well off financially. So why the hell does she feel the need to drive around town picking up things like an opened chocolate bar (the Facebook group member who posted it broke off a piece and said she didn't like it) or a store-bought (unopened) birthday cake? When she "surprised" me and our son with the latter, I said, "No thanks, I'm not interested." She seemed hurt, but oh well. My son told me privately that he was a little weirded out by the cake, and when I mentioned the open chocolate bar he was a lot weirded out.

Is this a PD thing, or just a fun little quirk that I get to be annoyed by?

[Poison Ivy]

I don't know if it's a PD thing, but I'd be bothered by it, too.

[moglow]

Sounds like a new way to hoard to me. Maybe not for your wife, but I guarantee it's happening. I used to use freecycle.com, same general principle. I remember once posting an old refrigerator that the freezer wasn't working; within a few hours a daycare contacted me, they needed a fridge for baby formula and juice and had no need for a freezer. They picked it up, DONE! Everybody was happy.


But opened/unsealed foodstuffs? No thank you. Maybe it's just the "new stuff" that appeals?

[Call Me Cordelia]

Opened this thread because I thought, "I resemble that remark!"    Not on Facebook but I am a confirmed thrifter. I'm not exactly an environmentalist either, but once I figured out that we can generally get better quality things by spending less money, and we can learn to be a little detached from our stuff by having some delayed gratification, and building community by sharing and finding what we need for each other, it gets to be a way of life.

But then... no. Just no. No secondhand foodstuff. No wasting more gas than an item is worth to get the opened chocolate bar. I'm honestly surprised admins didn't take that post down. Hoarding is definitely a thing with a lot of PD people. I don't know if this is applicable to your wife, but for many hoarders, including those in my FOO, they had severe attachment disorders such that they couldn't bond to people so they clung to stuff. It's really sad.

[escapingman]

IOS, this sounds a bit OCDP to me and very similar to my xPDw. She would buy things from the shops though, but NEVER full price. Then she would keep rebuying the item in the hope that it eventually would be reduced further, then return it and rebuy it at the new lower price, and if she thought it could be a further reduction she would keep doing it until it either was at a price she thought it would no longer be reduced or deem it not cheap enough and so take it back for a refund. The irony in all this is that she could spend £3 on petrol to get a £1 reduction and waste 1 hour of her life doing so. I have many more stories about this but I wont hijack the thread.

[IsleOfSong]

I have many more stories about this but I wont hijack the thread.

You're not hijacking it, you're reinforcing it! The time and energy (and fuel) they can spend getting a "good deal" on something is mind-boggling. And in my case, if I point this out to my wife, or have the audacity to suggest that we can afford our own baked goods and candy, I get word salad back at best and anger/victimhood at worst (along with self-righteous talk about how she's keeping things out of the garbage dump).

[Big Bear]

Isle of Song,

While I suppose that occasionally someone might find something useful or needed, I wonder how many people end up with things that they don't really need in the first place.  Just because it's free or on sale doesn't necessary make it valuable.  Also, if you factor in gas, wear and tear on your vehicle, and the value of your time, well, the stuff isn't really free.

My former neighbor was in a group that got expired or overstock food from local grocery stores.  It's a great idea in theory, but in reality, most of it was highly processed, generally unhealthy food.  He would give us some items that he picked up but didn't need.  We got a few good items, like a giant bag of onions.  The onions weren't expired, just overstock.  But mostly it was things like desserts past the expiration date or processed snack foods.  Once he gave us a whole cake (sound familiar!).  We tried some but just couldn't eat the whole thing with just our family.  (There's a reason that cakes are usually reserved for parties!  It takes a big group to eat one!)  I eventually had to turn down most of the donations because we were trying to eat healthier, and the free food was generally undermining our efforts.

Hopefully the free stuff group would remain a mere quirk.  Just make sure the amount of stuff going out is greater than the amount of stuff coming in!  Good luck!

Big Bear