Neurofeedback

[Hepatica]

Hi everyone. I haven't been here in awhile and I spose that means I've become accustomed to my situation and I'm learning to live with NC with my FOO.

I wanted to share something about Neurofeedback. I had fifteen sessions via a medical doctor last year and it's been remarkable for my trauma symptoms. Since I've had the treatment the best way to describe it is the volume of my anxiety has been dialled down. There are so many specific examples that reveal this. Previous to treatment I was quite avoidant socially. After treatment I attend meetings, social groups etc, go out with friends, commit to projects, and I enjoyed things. When I talk to people I feel very grounded and I am not flying off and losing track of what I'm saying. I am right there, very concentrated. My people pleasing tendencies have nearly disappeared.
The science behind Neurofeedback seem valid and good. Lots of peer reviewed studies for success in treating PTSD symptoms. I am by no ways perfectly healed but I have a calm that I didn't have before the treatment.

That said it is not the be all end all. I think nothing could be really. But I did make a mistake recently, and went out with a couple of people who know my FOO. It was 99% fine but then Mother's Day came up as a topic. One of them mentioned facebook. She had seen a photo of my parent and sibling celebrating. Well. Neurofeedback did not prevent the spiral down into grief. I've woke so broken with guilt, doubt and even today the sadness is overwhelming. So I came here to read some posts and try to remind myself I am not alone. I don't want to cut from these two people from life, but they are a part of the web-like dynamic of toxicity. They don't really understand. Or. They might get a little bit of pleasure seeing me uncomfortable. I cannot know which and I haven't been sleeping well since the outing with them. I am feeling bad again. Cutting out more people, if I choose to do this for my mental health, seems tiring. Ugh.

Anyway. If you find Neurofeedback intriguing and you suffer from PTSD symptoms, do some research and read some medical science on it. I've tried many forms of therapy over the years and it never managed to dial down the anxiety and dial up the calm. In many ways it's given me back a a life.  I was comfortable doing it, being a bit of a sceptic, because the person is a medical doctor and she did not push for me do more than 15 sessions. It seemed more about helping me than profiting her if you know what I mean. And it's made a big difference for the better.

I am just realizing I might have posted about Neurofeedback before. If so, apologies. I'm feeling sleep deprived and discombobulated this AM.

[moglow]

No apologies needed, Hepatica! I'm glad to know it's working for you. I'm not sure there's any end all be all for us, we get there when we get there. I also suspect everyone has setbacks here and there, in many ways I think we're hyper aware of our stuff and [for me at least] super impatient when we feel we've taken a step back. Aint no shame in that game whatsoever!

All that said, is this a situation where you could open up a bit with these people, let them know you have a complicated relationship with the FOO and would rather not discuss or even hear about them? I tend to give people the benefit of my huge doubts, thinking they have no clue what harm I've survived or the damage their insistence can do. Ive done this with a few, had mixed results. One was downright pushy and insistent, that she "knows [my] mother and that's not at all how things are!" Bless it. No. I've met her too, thanks. Others were very understanding and compassionate, let me talk about it when/if I need to or leave it be if not. If I get a whiff that they don't really show any concern for me and my well being, I'm done. I've had plenty of that. I can happily decline future invitations with no qualms at that point.


Can you maybe get in an extra session or two of neurofeedback or other nurturing to help you over this hump? This is by no means a mistake or failure, maybe it's a teaching moment you needed to make that next step forward. We're always here to help buck you up, just as you do for us!!

[Lookin 2 B Free]

I remember you, Hepatica.  Welcome back!  How wonderful you've had the successes you have with Neurofeedback (even if there was a setback). Your description of its effects sounds heavenly to someone like me who has such trouble trusting and relaxing with people who aren't part of my trusted friend circle.  Are you aware of anything to look for in finding a good NF therapist?  Was yours a certain type of NF?

[Free2Bme]

Hi Hepatica,

Nice to see you here, I've been away for a while as well.  Thank you for sharing about your success with neurofeedback, I will be asking my T about it.  I am sorry for the grief spiral, I am very familiar with this.

   ~Hugs