I know something is coming…..

[Liketheducks]

Saw Mom over the weekend.   Everyone said she looks like something is really bothering her, but she's not saying what.  And, we're not asking.  She looked/acted like she was going to cry.  It is that weird limbo land.   Then she dropped a gift off at my house unannounced this afternoon.   I was napping, didn't hear the door.   My son came in and woke me, saying she was here.   She hadn't called.   Just wanted to drop a gift for me, as my birthday is tomorrow and she's going out of town.   
I thanked her and then she weirdly and dramatically announced that she was off.   DS was just as baffled as me.   Nothing major, just wondering what might be coming around the corner.  I know something is up.   

[moglow]

Don't go there, borrowing trouble as my grandfather would say. We're taught that certain tones, looks, phrases portend "something" so we're on edge until it lands. Then we can say "aaaaand there it is." She may simply be bothered that no one is asking - she's *clearly* sending a message that no one is receiving?   How dare you! Guarantee there's something she imagines you were to acknowledge in the right way at the right time and you didn't. You "failed". 'Cept you didn't, not really.  Do what you can to continue on, the anvil will drop when it will and you may be real glad you didn't try to catch it.

[Liketheducks]

DS and I both thought that she was surprised to run into both of us at home OR perhaps hadn't wanted to actually see us, but to drop the gift and go.

[Cat of the Canals]

I've brought up before that those of us in PD families are often brought up to respond to subtext. To ask "what's wrong" in response to  a pouting face or a heavy sigh. Sometimes it's even less than that -- you can't even put your finger on what's different about their behavior, but you know something is up, and you run around trying to figure out what's wrong so you can fix it before the big blow up.

The thing is, these are adults who are more than capable of speaking up if they want something or have something to say. My life has improved dramatically since I stopped responding to subtext. When my mom tries to play the "hint hint" game these days, I play dumb instead. If she wants something so bad, she can say it out loud like a grown up. Until then, I act like everything is the same old-same old.

So I'm with moglow. Until she has something to say, pretend like you haven't even noticed her little moods and melodramatic goodbyes.

[Liketheducks]

Thank you.   I'm holding that ground just now.  My brother has expressed that she must have some terminal diagnosis.   I'm shaking my head.   I've heard this one before.

Am girding my loins.   I know something is coming.  Trying to not catch the "ball".  I'm not leaning in to this, and that is ramping her up a bit.

Marginally grateful that my kiddo senses the weird in all of this.  Hoping that we're equipped for what comes next.