Fake health issues BPD Mom

[Montrell79]

uBPD mother has colonoscopy in May. They remove a few polyps. One of them was quite large, so it was sent for biopsy. Apparently, a few a days later, the GI Doctor called her and told her she has "stage 3 cancer" but that there is nothing they can do but wait another 3 months for her to have a follow up colonoscopy to make sure he removed the entire polyp. She tells me all of this with certainty, while simultaneously complaining she can't understand the doctor because of his thick accent. She also gushes about how she couldn't believe she of all people would get colon cancer. Colon cancer is for fat, unhealthy people, certainly not her.

Since she didn't understand the doctor well, she decided to see her doctor for some help interpreting the results of the biopsy. I thought this was a great idea- get more information before getting carried away.

After seeing her trusted family doctor a few days later, she was still convinced she was fighting "stage 3 cancer" and that her doctor confirmed her condition was "very serious" but there was "still some hope".

So uBPD mother is convinced she has stage 3 cancer all summer. I continued to find this odd because the GI doctor was not recommending any further testing or treatment for a stage 3 cancer diagnosis? So naturally when I ask for clarification about what the doctor actually said (because I'm concerned my mother could be dying) she starts fake crying that she could be dead in a year and just wait until I receive a diagnosis like this someday. "There's nothing that can be done- It's in gods hands now" and that "easy
for you to say that everything will be ok and that maybe it's not stage 3 cancer because you're not the one battling cancer!"
So my mother is battling cancer, but we dare not speak of it? 

Fast forward 3 months to August. She has her follow up colonoscopy and the results are clean. She seems relieved but oddly not very happy.

She then waves the original biopsy results letter in my face as proof that the whole situation was "really bad" and how she kept it from me all summer to avoid worrying me. WTAF?

The letter says the findings of the biopsy were "Tubulovillous adenoma with high-grade dysplasia"

I'm not a doctor but I have a friend who is, and she told me that those biopsy results are not cancer. Important to address, yes,  but not even pre-cancer. I'm starting to believe i was lied to and that this was a massive effort to get attention and sympathy and any words reassuring her she may not have stage 3 cancer were dismissed and seen as minimizing her distress. It was intentionally deceptive on her part.

Anyone else dealt with questionable health theatrics from their PD parent(s)?

[Fiasco]

My BPDm likes to inflate her own health issues almost as much as she likes to downplay the (real) issues of others. Her friend's breast cancer? She doesn't think it was really cancer at all. Her brother's leukemia? Must be the kind of cancer that doesn't do anything because he seems fine to her.

On the other hand she likes to get hysterical about all the times she "almost died" and had to go to the ER. Which both those times she was diagnosed with the terrible disease of gas. She had to fart.

[lkdrymom]

My mom died of cancer in 2003.  After that my father seemed to join the 'cancer of the month' club.  Every month he insisted he had some new form of cancer.  He was tested for everything...and disappointed every time.  Drove me crazy.  He lived another 17 years and died of Covid.

[Liketheducks]

Oh yes.....I think it is quite possible we have the same mother.   Usually, in our family, mom thinks she has cancer when I'm exercising firmer boundaries.   

And, literally had the same diagnosis following a colonoscopy with the same drama...it wasn't cancer.

Sorry we're needing to be here, but grateful for the validation and support 

[Maxtrem]

My uBPDm has a serious heart condition. The cardiologist would have told her her heart is finished.

But no more details, no name for the condition/disease, just your heart is over.
It would be surprising for a cardiologist to give such a brief diagnosis   
Also, the condition of her heart is due to the fact that she had anguish because no one was there to support her a few years ago and the doctor would agree with that.
Just to create guilt.

Of course, this has nothing to do with age, obesity, poor diet or lack of physical activity.

[nanotech]

My dad does this. He also gets my NBro involved in it. Brother worried us all a few years ago by telling us (by text) that my dad's new PSA results meant he was 'likely to have to have chemotherapy.'
After telling his sisters this he then told us not to get dramatic in front of dad, and not to send him any dramatic messages! Keep calm, keep calm!
I grey rocked this.
Turned out he was just in need of a change of meds for his
extremely well monitored, slow moving, age related ( he's 91) prostate cancer. At his next appointment his PSA was down again. 🤷🏼
I think my dad projected his worst fears onto his son, who then projected them on to his siblings. One of us was then supposed to act out, then get blamed.
Even if my dads PSA hadn't come down, chemo wouldn't have been offered until they had tried several other treatments. So often, it's just nonsensical panicking, fear projecting, gaslighting, blaming behaviour.

[NotCryingGlitter]

Oh don't get me started on all the "I'm dying/gonna die" stunts.