Choosing residential care teen

[MomInTheHouse]

After 2 more hospitalizations, we are looking at residential care. Our teen needs more in depth care than we can get her by staying outpatient and more care than the hospital can give us. I am heartbroken but I know she needs this. I have 3 centers that were recommended but I'm terrified I'll make the wrong choice and she'll end up more traumatized. I've googled all 3  and 2 of them had previous lawsuits for neglect. My state doesn't have anyplace specializing in DBT and this is what she needs. The 3rd place is 5 hours away and 2 states over. Finding residential care is incredibly difficult.

[Lookin 2 B Free]

MomInTheHouse,  I'm so sorry you are in this heartbreaking place.  It sounds very scary. 

I was told (years ago) we would have to do what you're contemplating, but somehow things ended up improving with ongoing outpatient treatment and it did not come to pass.  I hear you, though.  When it's time for residential care, other options are just not adequate.

I wish I could offer more than empathy.  What helped me the most was finding and really relying on experts who were kind enough to give me some time and advice.  And anyplace (mostly online) I could find other parents going through the same thing. 

I'm sure you've been doing this, and reaching out here is a good step. Also, being in this kind of crisis situation can completely overwhelm your life so that self care seems impossible.  I did have a counselor who recommended finding mini-breaks of 5 or 10 minutes during the whirlwind of the day to step away and do something nice and nurturing for myself, tea while sitting on the patio listening to the birds, a scented bath with candles.  And a night away on occasion when it was possible worked wonders for recharging, though it was rare.  Also, a bit of time in nature always helped me.

I hope there are others on this forum who have more wisdom about this than I do.   Please let us know how you're doing!