New here

[SafireJem]

Hi all. I'm seeking support and advice on setting boundaries with my covert NPD (not diagnosed) mother. I live with her, along with my two young kids- I'm a single parent and (long story) moving out isn't an option.

I would really value suggestions on how be polite but distant, maintaining boundaries, which is tricky when living together.

My mum is extremely critical, martyr-victim role, and if confronted she calls me a narcissist, rubbishes my belief system (I'm a Christian but do not impose this belief system on others), and compares me unfavourably to people in my family of origin (particularly my dad- an overt narcissist) and various extended family members my mum has grievances with (some grievances legitimate; others irrational grudges).

My mum also plays favourites with my son. I wouldn't say she scapegoats my daughter; however, she has struggled to empathise with my daughter's challenges- my daughter is autistic and has ADHD.

My goals are to be a good parent to my kids and have a cordial relationship with my mum while safeguarding my kids' hearts and my own mental health. Life is tough currently.

Thank you in advance for any feedback.

[Lalitha]

Hi safirejem, welcome. I'm pretty new here but it's already been a great help. Look up 'medium chill' if u haven't heard of it. Yep my NPD-M favourited my son, we're NC at the moment tho. Hope u find some helpful stuff on here, I'm sure you will do.

[SafireJem]

Hi Lalitha, thank you for your reply. I'll read up on medium chill. Thanks again.

Grandparents favouritism of one grandkid over another/others is awful. Hope you are doing OK with the NC from your NPD mum.