Cycle of sketchy behavior by PD person, suspicion from me

Started by Poison Ivy, November 07, 2023, 11:15:27 AM

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Poison Ivy

Hi. I've been divorced for more than 7 years. One of the reasons for the divorce was my then-husband's sketchy behavior around money. He was his parents' caregivers for several years, and both parents died four years ago. It has become apparent to me (because of public records and mail still coming to my house for him) that little has been done to deal with the parents' estates. Not surprising; not my problem.

But today I learned something that makes me think I might still have a connection to this: a credit card was opened four years ago, only a few days after the death of my former father-in-law, and I'm an authorized user on the card. This card might have nothing to do with my ex and his family, but it's bugging me.

Do you think the following plan makes sense?
1) Ask adult children and former spouse whether they have a card on which I'm an authorized user.
2) If they say no or don't respond, contact the credit card company and attempt to remove myself as a user.

I'd like to know why this happened, but it seems more important and better for my mental health to just eliminate the potential continuing effect on my credit report and to not further engage with my ex or children about the topic.

Thank you.

moglow

If it was opened without your knowledge or consent, it's fraud. Your credit is tied to something over which you have no control and no genuine connection. Can you gather appropriate information, dispute any/everything having to do with it via credit bureaus, and/or even cancel the card altogether, never discuss with any of them? That's the direction I'd head with it.

If they come back and question it, you still had no knowledge and it's not yours to deal with. You have every right to shut down your involvement, even if only "on paper."


"She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom." ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter
"Expectations are disappointments under construction." ~Capn Spanky, The Nook circa 2005ish

Poison Ivy

Thank you, moglow. It's very helpful to ask about this issue on a forum where people understand why I'm suspicious and why I don't want to engage unnecessarily about it with my family.

square

PI, that sounds frustrating. Fortunately, I think it will be easy to solve.

I added my child as an authorized user on my account, and she was not involved in any way including signing anything. I just called, talked to the agent, and a brand new card arrived the next day. The reason it was that easy is because my daughter did not make any agreements and has no responsibilities.

You might skip your first step and simply call the credit card company. Or you could ask your adult children first - but would your ex tell you the truth (or necessarily even remember what he may have done four years ago since such things don'tvreally stand out to him)?

Here's an article from NerdWallet with important parts underlined:

https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/credit-cards/credit-card-authorized-users

What is an authorized user?

An authorized user is someone who is allowed to use someone else's credit card. The person who owns the credit account is called the primary cardholder.
Authorized users may be issued their own credit card with their name on it, but the account belongs to the primary cardholder.

What responsibilities does an authorized user have?

Authorized users can make purchases on the account, but generally cannot make changes to the account itself — like increasing the credit limit or adding more authorized users.
Authorized users aren't required to make payments on the credit card either, regardless of how much they spend.
Payments and changes are the responsibility of the primary cardholder.


Is credit activity reported to the credit bureaus for the authorized user?

A major incentive to being an authorized user is piggybacking off the primary cardholder's good credit habits to help your credit scores. Many card issuers report credit activity to the credit bureaus for authorized users, but some may not.
The primary cardholder will need to ask their card issuer if this information is reported in order for the authorized user to receive the benefits of good credit history.

How do I add someone/get added as an authorized user on a credit card?

The primary cardholder has to add an authorized user. This can be done by calling the credit card issuer or logging onto the online account. Many issuers will issue a second card for the authorized user, but it will generally be mailed to the primary cardholder, who can choose to give it to the authorized user or not.
If the card isn't distributed, the authorized user can either use the primary cardholder's card, or simply reap the credit benefits of the cardholder's good financial habits.

How do I remove someone/get removed as an authorized user?

What if your circumstances change?
* Perhaps your boyfriend is an authorized user on your account and you break up.
* Or maybe you're the authorized user on the account of a relative who dies.
* Or you're an authorized user who's hit some financial troubles and doesn't want the temptation of a credit card anymore.

Fortunately, it's easy to remove someone — or yourself — as an authorized user with a phone call to the card issuer.
(As noted above, authorized users generally don't have the right to make changes to the account, but the exception is if they wish to remove themselves from the arrangement.)

Poison Ivy


moglow

I'm just paranoid enough to think he/they may have used your credit as *cosigner* to get the card(s) in the first place. I question the whole authorized user bs on that point alone - to what purpose?? You don't actually have access but someone is possibly using it in your name, signing as you etc. Trying to obligate you for debt you didn't incur. 

Sketchy. 
"She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom." ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter
"Expectations are disappointments under construction." ~Capn Spanky, The Nook circa 2005ish

Poison Ivy


LemonLime

Important, if you haven't done so already, to check with all 3 credit bureaus.   TransUnion, Equifax and Experian will all give you a free annual credit report.  Make sure you check for fraud.

I put a credit freeze (for free) to protect my credit reports, and can "thaw"temporarily for free at any time if I need for someone to be able to check my credit (say if I buy a home or start a new credit card).   I'd recommend that for anyone.  My spouse and kids do that (I was the victim of fraud where someone started a credit card in my name after stealing my social security number.  It's easy as pie for someone to start a Citibank or TJ Maxx credit card in your name if they have your SSN.   Then they leave you with the bill).
Of course the credit freeze now won't help you with events of 4 years ago, but will protect you in the future and you can at least see if there has been fraud by looking at your report.

Best of luck.  You're smart to be concerned.

Poison Ivy

I'm very relieved. My other adult child said they put me on as an authorized user when they opened the card. I think it showed up on the credit report now because this child has a relatively high balance right now (child recently went on a trip).

Thank you again for the replies!