When they think they are an expert

[Cascade]

My pdh thinks he's good at taking photos. I'm a member of a photography group and every once in a while I'll show my pdh a nice photo that someone else took, just to share. Every time lately that I show him a picture he says he took a picture similar to that, and then he sometimes sends it to me. There is no comparison between the two photos. I find it frustrating that I can't share even the littlest thing without him turning the focus back on him. What do the pds in your life think they are good at when they are not?

[escapingman]

This will be a fun topic.

pdMIL was really good at quiz shows and games, she was so good she always won when we played trivial pursuit. In fact she was so good that she even corrected the answers so if she ever got a question wrong it was because the answer on the card was wrong - I was not given a correct answer once because she claimed both me and the card was wrong.

pdFIL thought he was a very good cook, if anyone ever complained about his cooking he would get into a massive rage. This was very difficult as very often he served undercooked food and raw chicken.

pdXW kept bragging about how good she was a the gym, her PT kept telling her she was the best of all his clients which she kept telling me. She apparently won the plank competition, she then showed me how good she was - needless to say she was cheating with having her back crooked (which I am sure the poor PT was to scared of telling her).

[blacksheep7]

My pdh thinks he's good at taking photos. I'm a member of a photography group and every once in a while I'll show my pdh a nice photo that someone else took, just to share. Every time lately that I show him a picture he says he took a picture similar to that, and then he sometimes sends it to me. There is no comparison between the two photos. I find it frustrating that I can't share even the littlest thing without him turning the focus back on him. What do the pds in your life think they are good at when they are not?

Frustrating you say, how right you are. This is not about being an expert but it still comes down to stealing the show, focus on him. It is the NF of my kids. I'm not concerned, divorced long ago But every time our kids post a picture of whatever on Fbook, he has to respond with his own picture. 

Big attention seeker.

He wore shorts in February,Canadian winter at our gkids bday party knowing we all would be there. It is freeking cold in the east.    Who does that?  I'm surprised he didn't wear his flip-flops. lol

He is the eldest of five.  I always joked that when his M had the others, he lacked attention.

[blunk]

Wow, this sure is a common theme. It was one of the first "quirks" that I noticed with my x, even before I knew anything about PDs.

My bpdxh was better than me at everything, unless it was something that he didn't want to do (mostly to do with the dogs...brushing, bathing, nail clipping, cleaning their ears, and the ever glorious picking up the dog poop!) And yet he would still watch over me and criticize how I did all of those tasks.

-He was better at cleaning the house, and I was a slob. Yet when he was out of work for 2+ years he never did a bit of cleaning.
-He was also a "photographer" and would always criticize any photos I took, or even just liked...saying things like, oh you would like that, it's too contrast-y for me.
-When we shot pool, he would have to tell me how my shot was wrong, even if I made the shot. And if I was winning at a particular game (usually 9-ball) it was stupid.
-He told me I was raking wrong...?!?!?
-He would brag about his driving, and criticize mine so badly that I stopped driving with him in the car. Unfortunately, he was also prone to road rage.
-There are so so so many more.

What made me the craziest was when he would instruct me on things that he had never done before, but that I had. and if I voiced any different way to do it I would, of course, get a lecture.

I am definitely interested to hear more of these.

[SeaBreeze]

My first ex-uNPDh was very competitive, thanks to his uNPD mom playing him and his siblings against each other. I, as his wife, was no exception to his constant "sibling rivalry". He flat out told me he could do various tasks better than me (whether he could or not, and no, I never asked or compared??) The one that took the cake, however: I was a professional seamstress back then. ex-H didn't know how to sew, but informed he "probably could sew just as good if not better than" me if he were "to try." When I mentioned this to his uNPD mother, she said "Well he probably could."     Mind you, I never sought to out-do ex-H on anything and often praised him on his own special skill-sets. But he may as well have belted out singing that old "Anything you can do, I can do better" song.

As for 2nd stbx uNPDh, he actually is very good with technical stuff and in fact built a lucrative career on it. But he's very snobby/elitist about it (like some, not all but some IT staff can be.) Yet rather than take pride in his actual accomplishments, he exaggerates his job title to others and gives fake credentials (possibly imposter syndrome moreso than narcissism?) Also, two of my kids are very tech savvy, and they've caught him using fake terms or explaining things wrong when he's doing tech support for me or other people who don't know any better. In other words, he's basically trolling the  n00bs and "typical users". 

There's really no need for any of this competitive or grandiose behavior, but I guess that's why we call it PD....

[Call Me Cordelia]

Lol, that reminds me of Lady Catherine de Bourgh in Pride and Prejudice "No one has a greater enjoyment of music than myself, or a better taste. If I had ever learnt, I should have been a true proficient!"

Austen is NOT satire! I'm convinced she saw plenty of personality disordered behavior and learned to deal with it in her writing.

That said, my own mother has histrionic Mrs. Bennett tendencies at times, and my father thinks he is always right no matter the subject matter.

But the most jaw-dropping delusion of expertise goes to my uPD grandfather-in-law. He was living in a filthy, hoarded up house with a wife with severe dementia who needed more physical care than she was getting, relying on his daughter 3,000 miles away to handle regular cleaning, and he was banking on writing a nationally syndicated column on... wait for it... AGING GRACEFULLY. 

[DCF1952]

I remember when this first started happening... he'd interrupt me and I remember thinking initially that it was just bad social skills or bad ADHD....

[walking on broken glass]

I don't know if my dad is ND but he definitely has narcissistic tendencies. In his opinion he is the best at cleaning, cooking, fixing stuff in the house etc. When I happen to do any of those things in front of him, he criticises me and wants me to things his way because it is THE way. When I was little he was convinced he was a great hairdresser and insisted on cutting my hair, which once resulted in me going to school in tears. He has also tried to give me advice about my job even though he knows nothing about the field or the country I live in. I don't think I have ever heard him say 'I don't know' about any subject.

[Cat of the Canals]

PDmom is an expert in everything. She will latch onto the most random things and start contradicting you. If you cite facts, she simply moves the goalpost. The argument will go on and on without her ceding an inch until you finally give in and say, "I guess you're right then."

[SeaBreeze]

PDmom is an expert in everything. She will latch onto the most random things and start contradicting you. If you cite facts, she simply moves the goalpost"

My uNPDm's favorite counter-argument was "I read a magazine article..." and then she'd cite rather questionable "facts", "research" or "statistics". This was before the Internet, and I rarely saw her read magazines. She would have had a field day with today's questionable Internet sources...

[Cat of the Canals]

My uNPDm's favorite counter-argument was "I read a magazine article..." and then she'd cite rather questionable "facts", "research" or "statistics". This was before the Internet, and I rarely saw her read magazines. She would have had a field day with today's questionable Internet sources...

Mind doesn't seem to need sources, she flat out makes it up as she goes.