I got uninvited for Christmas Dinner

[Sneezy]

Well, for the first time in my life, I have been invited and then uninvited for Christmas dinner.  It is SIL's turn to host (I hosted Christmas Eve and Christmas Day last year).  SIL texted an invite and then less than a day later I got the "maybe it would be better if we all did our own thing this year" text. 

I'm not mad at SIL at all.  This is the inevitable result of my narcissistic MIL and FIL thinking they were the exception to the rule.  They were convinced they were perfect, that aging would never catch up with them, that they would never get dementia, that they would never have to downsize - in a nutshell, the clock was stopping for them around the age of 50 and they would forever be surrounded by adoring children and grandchildren and every holiday would be a chance to gather round the family homestead.

And then the sh*t hit the fan.  Things got to a crisis point.  Their children had to step in and help.  But MIL and FIL resisted.  They played one kid against another.  They whined and fought and didn't appreciate a darn thing anyone did for them.  And the family fell apart - it simply imploded.  And now I'm uninvited for Christmas dinner.  People often ask on this forum about what happens when PD parents get older, and this is one of the things that can happen.

On a brighter note - sometimes when the sh*t hits the fan, everyone steps up and works together and siblings actually get closer.  That's what happened with me and my siblings and for that I will be forever grateful.  I just wish my husband's family had been as fortunate.

To everyone out there who is counting down the days until January, hang in there!  Take deep breaths and take care of yourself - sending virtual hugs to you all!

[moglow]

Wow. Imagine the chaos that prompted that uninvitation. Sometimes the best decision is the simplest!

[wisingup]

Oh Sneezy, I'm sorry.  It sounds like you are seeing the situation clearly though, and not taking it personally.  Best wishes for a lovely Christmas with your FOC.

[Sneezy]

Imagine the chaos that prompted that uninvitation.

Yeah, there is a part of me that would really like to know what changed over that 12-18 hours between being invited and then uninvited.  But I'm probably better off not knowing.

Best wishes for a lovely Christmas with your FOC.

Thanks, wisingup!  At this point, I'm not even sure who all is coming to my house on Christmas, but luckily I was able to snag one of the last hams at the grocery store.  Could be anywhere from 3 to 6 of us here, but I've got a ham big enough to feed an army 

[sunshine702]

What a blessing!  My Narc mom did this once.  She "planned a FAMIlY reunion around a fancy lake cabin back I. 2002. My husband at the time LOVED to fish.  We she kept telling me about the FAMILY reunion yet we were not invited lol. 


GOOd!  It would have been hell!