My 2023 New Year's Eve

[Associate of Daniel]

Welcome to the new year everyone!  I hope and pray that your 2024 is far better than my 2023.

Last night was New Year's Eve.  Usually I spend it on my own at my house.  I go for a short drive to a quiet rural area and sit on the side of the road in the middle of some paddocks, and watch the fire works up the local mountain while eating a McDonald's McFlurry.

Last night was different.  I'm at my Dad's place because Mum died a few months ago and I didn't want Dad to be alone if he chose to stay up. (He didn't).

I planned to walk up to one of the bridges on the property and sit on it watching the fireworks across the city, which is about 58 kilometres away.  (Dad has a railway running around his property that has several bridges.)

I decided not to go to the bridge as it was probably not a good idea to disturb the kangaroos in the dark. (Yes, there is a mob of them that regularly spends time at Dad's block. It's a thing.) So instead I walked to the edge of the lawn and stood, eating my Magnum ice cream (There are no McDonald's stores anywhere near here. )

Midnight came.  The city went nuts.  I raised my ice cream and burst into tears.

My tears were mainly for my friend and her family who were facing their first New Year's Eve without their teenage son. He was killed in a car accident 9 months ago.

Then tears for the fact that I was sadder about my friend's son than I was about the recent death of my own mother.  What does that say about me?

I reconcile it with the idea that I, in some ways, started saying good-bye to my mum about 8 years ago.  Her behaviour in public became embarrassing.  I put it down to old age.  And as the years moved on she became very abusive to my Dad.  It wasn't until she had a psychotic breakdown in 2020 that I (we) realised it was a mental health issue.  By then though, I'd detached emotionally from her.  The doctors got her back for us and we had 2 or so years of a really lovely mum.  The best I'd ever known her to be.  I'm so grateful.  But for me, the fear of her having a possible relapse was ever present, and I couldn't go back to being as emotionally attached as I had been in previous years.

So, it's now New Year's Day.  I'm praying for a much easier year.  Please, God.  No more deaths.  No more terminal illnesses.  Just plain sailing, yeah?

And a goal for 2024?  Papers.  I HAVE to declutter my paper.  I've started.  It's going ok so far.  Except for all the stuff re solicitors, mediators, psychologists, emails between ex and me.  Those I haven't yet been able to face.  Hopefully I'll get on a roll and find myself ploughing through it without too much thought.

Anyway,  Happy 2024 everyone.  Thanks for reading.

AOD

[Poison Ivy]

I hope 2024 is a better year for you (and for me), AOD.

[notrightinthehead]

Having a good cry at midnight can be such a relief! I have done it before. Leave all that sadness in the past. A good 2024 for all of us!