Mother in Law Narc?

[sunshine702]

Is my Mother in Law a covert Narc too??!!  I am out here right next to her a year now and I have seen a few things.  One Son does not speak to her complete NC. This has been for awhile but when he did not come to father'S funeral He is written out of the will recently.  She is truly baffled as to what happened.  One grandson is GOLDEN - literally everyone rally's around him.  Including my partner. At Christmas  When he kicked another cousin in the face and bloodied her I believe accidentally but there was not even a omg.  Everyone just accepted this. No one asked him even hey what happened?  Also recently upon me working in the yard Mother in law came up to the garage and made sure to tell me she had to get something for Tami - like it was this weird rivalry.   

This sort of triangulation and favor is immediately recognized by me from my Narc mom.  But is this normal in families and I am reading too much into it?  That it's just a grandma that likes a grandson and a son that is ungrateful/embarrassed and my husband just adores little newfew?  I am sort of new to the whole extended family in law dynamics. 

[notrightinthehead]

I think so far you might not have enough information to decide. I would treat it as a working hypothesis and observe. And I would go back to the Toolbox and implement all the protective strategies you can.
Coming from a PD family system, it would not be unusual that you would find something similar in your family of choice. And have a high tolerance for their behavior.

[sunshine702]

I am seeing really open competition with me and that is NOT fun.  Also really really bad boundaries. That my partner perpetuates.  And makes 1000 times worse. Just yesterday he told me I invited her up for dinner.  Which normally would be ok but I was deathly sick as he told me that.  Honey I am sick. She is really not ok with sickies.  Why don't you go down there and which point he comes home leaves me sick barely says hello and runs down there for an hour plus.  Normally it would be ok but damn it can I get some tlc right now!!

I have lost out to her will twice this month with his permission.  I wanted to wait just a minute just a minute while the landscape guy she knows did her part of the road (I was so so on my 80 percent finished yard and was starting to feel like an open checkbook. -  thus the stop.  I told both of them I wanted  a day to discuss it with my partner.  She went around that and in coordination with my partner they had the damn rock delivered the next day and I am supposed to be ok with it. She is paying.  I bet he did because of his mom.  Well I guess but the fee was creeping higher and higher and higher and frankly I wanted to see if it was worth it.  Since I was promised he could match the lower bid I got and did not.
But it doesn't  matter what I want (I asked not a pause not a no!). And it was ignored by my partner and his mom