I like it when my PD spouse is out of town

[Jsinjin]

We have been married a long time and the kids are all college related or older.  One of our children is a college athlete and his sport is in season.  Watching him compete has always been a joy.  Because of the frequency of his school competitions my uOCPDw and I often trade off who is attending because of work or vacation availability.   (At the big conference or NCAA national events we both attend).  This weekend my spouse was out of town and there is always a certain freedom I feel that I enjoy.   It's strange but I can do laundry without justifying, load the dishwasher and run it 2/3 full just so it's done in the morning, mow the yard, and throw away things that are truly trash.   I don't do these things in a passive aggressive way but when she is gone I feel this freedom to take things of mine I don't want to goodwill or clean out my own files or generally put things away. 

An example, I have a stand up paddle board.   It's mid winter and it was in the way of walking in the garage.   It is inflatable and I want to put it away.   My spouse has always been very concerned about it popping or being put back in its storage bag in the "wrong way".   When she is here she is petrified of what I am doing with it and how.   It's not hers but her fears and anxieties about it being cared for in the right way are very seriously deep

With her gone I was able to declare it, roll it up and put the oversized duffel on a top shelf in the garage.   

There is a strange freedom I enjoy when she is gone.   

I used to fear her coming home but I've learned not to do that and I feel good about it now.

[escapingman]

That's how life is for me every day now, it's bl**dy wonderful! I can run the dish washer whenever I want, wash up the non dish washer items whenever I want and do the laundry whenever I want. I can start a DIY project and work on it whenever I want and however I want. I can have mess all over my desk and I can clear it if and whenever I want to. Absolutely amazing!

Glad you got to taste some of the life free of a PD, hope you can start living like that all the time.

[Cascade]

I love it when my PDh is out of town! I remember the very first time when he left for a few days, and how unexpectedly happy it made me feel. And being able to do things around the house without questions or being watched is so nice. I'm glad you got some things done that you wanted to do, Jsinjin.

[Pepin]

I also used to love it when DH would be out of town -- because it meant that we didn't have to visit with CN MIL.  Even though she is gone now, I still love it when DH is gone...because I still carry a certain amount of resentment for how he treated me and I need breaks.  We are working on it though.