Country and Narcs

[LemonLime]

The country I live in is in danger of being taken over by a malignant Narc.   It's really scary, and I feel like I'm in a bad bad dream.
Just as in my other relationship with a Narc, I feel there are lots of flying monkeys involved.  And lots of people who simply do not realize what a Narc does and why they do it.  So a large group of people are still not awake to the abuse.  So they're not responding appropriately.

With the other Narc in my life, I was able to go VLC.  How does one do that if the Narc will have huge powers over millions of people?

I'm really despairing.  It's happening before my eyes, and only some of us are able to see it.
This is the stuff of nightmares.

I don't know what to do to cope.  Thoughts welcome.  Not trying to start a political debate here, just hoping for support.
Thanks, all.

[SonofThunder]

With the other Narc in my life, I was able to go VLC.

It's happening before my eyes.....only some of us are able to see it.

Imo history has seen plenty of narcissist people at the top, so imo history may repeat itself.  I can learn from history.  If I lived in a country which allowed me the opportunity to vote, then I vote according to my desire. 

After that, to go VLC with a political person of today, I simply turn off the television, radio, podcast, social media, internet news and anywhere else in which "It's happening before my eyes".  Imo, I have the power to control what happens before my eyes, which is a self-protective boundary. 

Imo, self care and opportunity can be roommates.  If no opportunity exists for me where I currently reside, then maybe I can move to a more opportune country. 

Hoping you have plenty of options as well,

SoT

[LemonLime]

Thank you, SoT.  You always have wise and kind words and I appreciate it.   

[Rebel13]

Hi LemonLime,

I saw your post a couple days ago and wanted to think about it. I think I do have a couple tactics to share, mainly just how I think about the situation, if we are talking about the same subject.

I don't know how old you are, but I have seen this kind of dynamic play out so many times -- I'm talking about the one where the people on one side lose their sh*t over how terrible the person from the other side is -- regardless of who the person is, their policies, etc. There's a whole bunch of catastrophizing which, in my experience, is always completely overblown and unhelpful.

The media plays a huge role here as well. They make their money by winding people up, so of course they are going to put out the most hyperbolic headlines and content, regardless of whether they support the current leader, the new candidate, both, or neither.

Again, I don't know if we are talking about the same situation, but if we are, the person has already been in charge, and at least from my perspective, the sky didn't fall. Things probably got worse for some people and better for others. But that seems to happen no matter who is in charge of things.

I love SoT's strategies -- that's what I do too. I don't listen to or read stories about the subject, and try to ignore the headlines when they pop up uncontrollably, as much as I can. I don't talk about the subject with friends or family members. I try to reflect on what truly has the most impact on my life -- it's almost never that spectacle, whichever flavor or color du jour.

I hope you can find some ways to de-stress and filter out of your life the messages that aren't helping you.

[escapingman]

I reckon most politicians and big leaders are narcs or at least have traits. I stopped following politics and mostly stopped reading the news, if I can't do anything about it then I may as well leave them to it. There is absolutely no reason to worry or stress over something you can't control, live your best life and if things go terrible wrong that's the time to take action if needed.

[SonofThunder]

There is absolutely no reason to worry or stress over something you can't control, live your best life and if things go terrible wrong that's the time to take action if needed.

I believe that is stated by you (and many other kind people) in a spirit of positive encouragement. But,really?? 

Imo a lofty ideal such as that is way beyond my grasp.  The best I have achieved so far is a more mindful awareness that worry and stress over something out of my control has arrived at my doorstep without desire so I need to do some better gatekeeping to make it harder to reach me.  Recognizing it's arrival as similar emotions to what I have experienced before, allows me to accept it's here (uggh) and just ride it like a wave; up, over and down again.  Fighting the waves are absolutely draining and useless for me.  To try and reduce the wave frequency though, I use the boundaries discussed earlier. 

EM, if you have achieved a state of what you wrote above, coming from the situation in which you have been and still battling in ways, then well done my friend.  With regard to todays political climate and the onslaught of media from every angle possible, I believe its very easy to worry and become anxious on the what-if's that LemonLime wrote about, so imo accepting that our circumstances that bring us to Out of the FOG assists in exacerbating worry and anxiety in general, I believe protective boundaries are handy.

Im a worrier and also stressful. As a wise comrade here well says... "oh well".  It's just another facet of who I am and what Im proactively working on in my lifetime ahead of steady self-improvement. 

SoT

[1footouttadefog]

In my country, a parade of narcs have been trotted out at election time for a great many decades. 

Now it seems they and the narc leaders of other nations want wars. 

I try to live my life without being in a doom and gloom inspired funk.  I try to be proactive in preparing for what I believe our current trajectory will bring.

I'm doing so I find that my goals do not change even as political parties pass the baton.  Things are reported regarding global current events and I find my goals remain the same

Now I stay checked out for longer periods of time and simply take a reading on world events and political news so I can reevaluate my part in it all. 

[escapingman]

SoT,

I can't say I am immune but I am in a much better state regarding politics and news that is out of my control. Of course I need to pay attention to things that directly affect me, but most news doesn't. I used to worry 24/7 about the UK leaving the European Union, but now years later it didn't really made any difference to me. So much wasted time on worrying and discussing the issue. Yes I see a potential danger with one candidate for the top job in a big country, but I can't do anything about it and I am not even allowed to vote in that election. Since my separation from uPDxw and going VLC with my FOO I have been in hermit mode and almost isolated for two years and almost only spending time with DD and paying little attention to the outside world. I am getting out of the isolation now feeling really good, healed most wounds and feel ready to reintegrate into the real world. But still no interest in politics and the news.

[SonofThunder]

SoT,

I can't say I am immune but I am in a much better state regarding politics and news that is out of my control. Of course I need to pay attention to things that directly affect me, but most news doesn't. I used to worry 24/7 about the UK leaving the European Union, but now years later it didn't really made any difference to me. So much wasted time on worrying and discussing the issue. Yes I see a potential danger with one candidate for the top job in a big country, but I can't do anything about it and I am not even allowed to vote in that election. Since my separation from uPDxw and going VLC with my FOO I have been in hermit mode and almost isolated for two years and almost only spending time with DD and paying little attention to the outside world. I am getting out of the isolation now feeling really good, healed most wounds and feel ready to reintegrate into the real world. But still no interest in politics and the news.

Im happy for you my friend.  So glad to read you have been able to detach in the healing ways you describe.  Im behind you on the trail, and always good to hear reports from up ahead.

Going VLC on the news while not bypassing my responsibilities and privilege is a careful line I have to manage.  Hoping LemonLime finds some solace in the balance as well. Concern over unknowns is always a struggle that I am proactively working on ways to reduce; a lifetime journey but worthwhile. 

Cheers,

SoT

[notrightinthehead]

In my country the government lacks vision, resolve, sometimes reason. At the moment they are discussing how to reform our laws and make them gender neutral. In the meantime we have a war going on nearby. Their lackluster performance will result in a strong shift  to more radical parties in the next election. I have always been interested in politics, but now there are days when I don't read newspapers nor listen to news. I focus on my other interests. I believe it's important to be the best person I can be and make a difference where I can.

[sunshine702]

I would even venture to say most of the leaders/ kings/ top folks throughout history have been Narcs. Look at how 99 percent of them treat their family (like garbage). Also scratch the surface of most of the top do gooders and you'll find a Communal Narcissist who also treats their family like an inconvenience.

Yep it's rampant but I get to choose. I try to tune out garbage people.

[Rebel13]

I just found this video on Emma McAdam's thread, called Anxiety around Politics, Bad News, and the Election, with Lindsey Cabrera. I haven't watched it yet, but I like Emma's work, and maybe this will help someone struggling with this kind of anxiety.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hzFrmgv38A

[LemonLime]

Thank you All, and thank you for the recommendation Rebel.  I'll look into that video.  Really really needing hope.