Coming Back Out of My Shell

[SeaBreeze]

A little over a year out from 24-yr marriage to stbx-uNPD. I have felt like I'm coming back out of my shell this past year and rediscovering my conversational skills and sense of humor that stbx had systematically squelched. Sometimes I find myself reeling myself back in when the inner critic tells me I'm just too much, but then a store clerk laughs at my joke or a co-worker seems interested in what I have to say. It's genuinely been surprising but also refreshing and encouraging.

Well, my adult children are now bringing friends over (which they sadly, rarely did growing up in our PD household). I have enjoyed playing hostess while being grateful the kids feel this home is safe. My youngest DS21 said he's noticed I'm a lot more extroverted lately and he's enjoyed seeing this side of me. DD29 chimed in that DS21 hasn't really seen this side of me that she still remembers from her earlier years. It made me sad to realize this is all new to DS21 (two decades of PD silencing, his literal lifetime!!), and sadder that DD29 had to watch me fade away over the years. While I can't take those years back for any of us, it's still encouraging that the kids notice the difference and it's not just wishful thinking. It hasn't even been a conscious process, but rather just a natural lifting of my spirits since leaving the dark shadow of stbx.

Now that DS21 has made this heartening observation, I'm starting to more consciously put myself out there. Scary yet exciting?! Any suggestions on baby steps as I continue this huge leap forward?

[Rebel13]

I'm so happy for you! It sounds like you are doing just great finding your way back to yourself and connecting with your kids. Congratulations on all the hard work it took to get you where you are right now. Maybe you could do something really special for yourself to celebrate, like something you've always wanted to do but your ex wouldn't agree, discouraged you from, or made fun of? Treat yourself, you deserve it!

[TurnThePage]

Congratulations on Getting yourself back