Abuse through forcing the child to watch the sacrifice of an animal

[mary_poppins]

Hey. I didn't know how to title this. Lately, I've been processing some childhood memories that I thought were not traumatizing. Now I know they are.
I come from Eastern Europe and so, growing up, I would spend summers at grandma's in the countryside. One time I saw my uncle cut some chickens' heads off for dinner. It looked odd. My child self didn't know how to process this so I laughed when the headless chicken would run around like that in the yard.
During another time, I was present when pigs got slaughtered for Christmas (eating pork for Xmas is a tradition around here)-I remembered the terrible sounds of those pigs and the blood being everywhere. Again, a child can't process this so I put this memory somewhere, deep down, not wanting to deal with it.

I am temporarily living with my parents and lately, they've brought a few live chickens from the countryside to their apartment to cut them and use them for food. I was severely triggered. It felt like I was right back into that childhood of mine, with parents who didn't give a shit about their child witnessing animal abuse/death. (I don't know what to call this-yes, we all eat meat but we don't witness the meat being slaughtered and cut in front of us) And I heard them saying things like 'hey, one of the chickens died, why did you let it die?' -I think one didn't survive the long trip home since they were stuffed in the trunk and it's hot out.

The lack of empathy and humanity in their voices made me realize that they see animals and pets as objects. They are there to be used or for their entertainment.

Has any of you witnessed their 'meal' being cut up in front of them as a child?

Btw, it is illegal to do this kind of thing in 2024, we have laws against cutting up poultry in your apartment (not sure if it's illegal in the countryside). But do you think narcisssists care? They know how to get away with stuff.

[Marianne]

Hey,

Sorry for that. I think people (npd or not) are often so blunted to their daily lives, that they do nasty things, like treating animals as things, that only children see for what they really are.

I've seen dogs been treated horridly in a foreign country...locked in tiny cages with cement floors, covered in flees, neglected, scared. I long had nightmares and extreme guilt for not helping them (i was in trouble myself, didn't speak the language, had no clue what to do).

I know (through mum) that my granddad had trauma from how he was raised. They had chicken. He had one he loved a lot, like a pet. They made him slaughter it. It supposedly made a deep impression on him.

So...I can imagine it's difficult. At the same time I feel our "outsourcing" of the problem to horrible factory farms and slaughterhouses isn't exactly perfect either...I try eat organic meat only. But still.

[DanAnni]

Hi,

I had a similar experience as a child that I had repressed and only remembered after reading your post.
When I was about 7, there was a rabbit infestation in my area, also in Europe, and my grandfather would catch them. They were our pets for a few days or a week, and then they were killed in front of us, and we would cook and eat them. I could never eat those rabbits and can't eat rabbit today either. For us children, it was, as you said, a difficult moment to process. The adults didn't think about it or feel any empathy for those animals.

I don't know about your family, but previous generations of my family had to raise and kill the animals if they wanted to eat meat because they didn't have the money to just buy it. They saw farm animals as a source of food, not as sentient beings. I think they made that dissociation because otherwise, almost no one would be able to kill an animal they've been caring for over the years. That behavior, which now seems alarming, was normal not only for PD people but for everyone.

Nowadays, we're used to seeing the steak but not the animal or its suffering. The truth is, I think we do a similar thing now, dissociating the fact that someone killed that animal for us to eat. The way we see animals is not so different...

Certainly, an animal being killed is not something I would expose a child to. As we were unfortunately exposed, I believe that we at least needed guidance or an explanation to help us process it.

[mary_poppins]

Hey,

Sorry for that. I think people (npd or not) are often so blunted to their daily lives, that they do nasty things, like treating animals as things, that only children see for what they really are.

I've seen dogs been treated horridly in a foreign country...locked in tiny cages with cement floors, covered in flees, neglected, scared. I long had nightmares and extreme guilt for not helping them (i was in trouble myself, didn't speak the language, had no clue what to do).

I know (through mum) that my granddad had trauma from how he was raised. They had chicken. He had one he loved a lot, like a pet. They made him slaughter it. It supposedly made a deep impression on him.

So...I can imagine it's difficult. At the same time I feel our "outsourcing" of the problem to horrible factory farms and slaughterhouses isn't exactly perfect either...I try eat organic meat only. But still.

Wow making a child slaughter their own chicken is so cruel. I had a favorite chicken as a child, she was amazing. My first friend but unfortunately I took her life by giving her the wrong thing to drink. I still feel guilty about it.

I know what you mean about those dogs in cages..it is inhumane. There is nothing you can do about those dogs if you are living in those areas..but..you can impact the process of helping those animals by donating from abroad.

Maybe I need to go vegan at least for a while. I can't tolerate the thought of having to slaughter a chicken so I can eat.

[mary_poppins]

Hi,

I had a similar experience as a child that I had repressed and only remembered after reading your post.
When I was about 7, there was a rabbit infestation in my area, also in Europe, and my grandfather would catch them. They were our pets for a few days or a week, and then they were killed in front of us, and we would cook and eat them. I could never eat those rabbits and can't eat rabbit today either. For us children, it was, as you said, a difficult moment to process. The adults didn't think about it or feel any empathy for those animals.

I don't know about your family, but previous generations of my family had to raise and kill the animals if they wanted to eat meat because they didn't have the money to just buy it. They saw farm animals as a source of food, not as sentient beings. I think they made that dissociation because otherwise, almost no one would be able to kill an animal they've been caring for over the years. That behavior, which now seems alarming, was normal not only for PD people but for everyone.

Nowadays, we're used to seeing the steak but not the animal or its suffering. The truth is, I think we do a similar thing now, dissociating the fact that someone killed that animal for us to eat. The way we see animals is not so different...

Certainly, an animal being killed is not something I would expose a child to. As we were unfortunately exposed, I believe that we at least needed guidance or an explanation to help us process it.

DanAnni

Sorry you had to see those rabbits die in front of you. It's unfortunate what happened to you as a child. And yes, you are correct. We needed to be explained what happened to the chickens/rabbits so we can process the information.

You are right-everyone eating meat dissociate from the truth. and the truth is all animals we eat are slaughtered and some kept in inhumane conditions. I went vegan for 3 years just because of this fact and I might go vegan again.

Yes, my family also depended on animals for survival but, in the same time, if they didn't eat meat, they had veggies, eggs, and a lot of dairy. Meat wasn't everything but they just loved eating it. Don't get me wrong, I know people need to eat meat for the protein and nutrients. When I was a vegan, I felt weak and sickly because of the low number of calories i'd eat daily. But I never had gut problems, my digestion was great.