Toxic guys Facebook posts

[IWasNeverReallyHere]

This guy I know, an acquaintance, barely even that thankfully. I had to unfriend him a few years ago because his social media posts were beyond excessive. They were a disaster. Attention seeking, hysterical. A mummies boy. A near 40 year old male living with his mother and stepfather. May be autistic, may not be. Multiple personality disorders obviously.

Obsessed and consumed by social media, particularly Facebook. He shares his entire life on Facebook. Literally everything. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if his phone is in his hands more than half of his waking life. I don't know if he's capable of not experiencing something without seeing it through his phone or sharing it on Facebook.

If he goes grocery shopping, he will 'check in' on facebook and indicate he's doing a shop. Nobody cares nor wants to know. He's been bushwalking a lot lately, or what he refers to as hiking. He goes for a 5 or 10 km walk through bushland, but he takes a hundred photos on his phone and posts pretty much all of them along with a detailed review of his experience. On top of that, he posts the Strava app recording of his distance covered, etc. This is 5 times each week. Everytime without fail. Nobody cares about the distance you covered other than you so you don't need to share it.

He goes to an art gallery, every painting or piece of artwork must be captured on his phone and shared on Facebook.
If he goes to a live music event, most of the show is filmed on his phone and he will share those videos on Facebook. He shares music videos and lyric videos from you tube and will include the lyrics.

He shares reels, shares other users posts, if he goes to a doctor or a counsellor, he will 'check in' at the location and actually name the doctor or physician he is seeing. That in itself is a private thing, something you just don't share on Facebook, especially when a treating professional is involved.

Yesterday, it was as if a 10 year child was crying because he felt like his mum hated him over something he had said to her. This was a facebook post from a grown man. To make it worse, a dozen people comment on it enabling him, oh no what's happened? Are you okay? I'm sure your mum loves you. Then he deletes the post, which subsequently deletes all comments.

I know you're wondering, why are you seeing his posts if you're not friends with him? My problem is I keep looking at his page from time to time, okay that's being conservative isn't it? Well, he makes his account public of course. He wants anyone he can get to see it.  I have stopped looking at it for several months so I know I can kick this habit, but it's like a soap opera where you become addicted and need a fix.

I know this guy is sick and most likely beyond help. I don't care, it's not my problem, but sadly it's entertaining and addictive. I regularly deactivate my own Facebook account and never have it on my own phone, only checking it via computer and browser. The times when my account is deactivated for extended periods is when I feel most control over my habit.

[notrightinthehead]

I agree with you, something like that can become an addiction. I have gone home from an event to watch the latest episode of a show I was addicted to. And it was a silly show, really, still I could not wait to watch.
You know the first step of the AA program? You admit that you are powerless over the addictive substance and that your life has become unmanageable. I guess it's not that bad for you, but you could use this self awareness you have gained to further your knowledge about yourself and take an exciting trip down the road of self exploration. What is it that fascinates you about this guy? Does it make you feel superior to watch his posts and think he is silly? Do you envy his open self centred behaviour? What exactly do you feel or avoid feeling when you watch him?
 

[IWasNeverReallyHere]

Interesting perspective notrightinthehead. The thing is, I can wait to see his posts because they are predictable. Very predictable. I know in the back of my mind what the posts are going to be, so when I do my check and once I've seen them, I sometimes hear myself saying, yep nothing you haven't seen before.

The thing with a personal facebook account, is you can theoretically post whatever you damn well like. If someone (me) doesn't like or agree with what they're posting, they can unfollow or unfriend, as I have done. A part of me wishes he would make his account private, for friends only but I don't think his brain works that way.

Several times I've fought the urge to comment on some posts. I'm not sure if I can comment when I'm not 'friends' with him. If the comment does work, then I imagine he may wonder why I'm commenting when I am no longer friends with him on there and hence, should not be seeing his posts. That may be suspicious to him if he has that level of intelligence.

I'm not sure if I feel superior when seeing his posts. I think he's an idiot and an abuser in this very passive way that he is utterly oblivious to. I regret that he came into my life through my work and a mutual acquaintance, because he is 'still' in my life because he's in my head. I have met him in person but he no longer joins our groups through my work, so I suppose I'm grateful for that.

[SeaBreeze]

I used to sneak peeks on Facebook at my PD ex-in-laws from my first marriage. At first, it was to keep tabs on them and see what they were up to. But after my daughter from that marriage turned 18, I realized I was moreso rubbernecking at a morbidly fascinating, addicting trainwreck. I not only unfriended all of them, but blocked, so I can't see them and they can't see me. A less drastic option is Facebook's snooze feature, which allows you to temporarily snooze that user's posts from showing in your feed for 30 days. I find both snooze and block to be very helpful for my peace and sanity, not only in dealing with PD profiles but with Facebook in general concerning hot button topics or personal triggers, particularly during election season. Just a suggestion for your own peace of mind!

[Rebel13]

I was in a situation a little bit like this, but with a toxic website/forum. I disagreed with almost everything that was posted there, and yet it fascinated me. In the end, I didn't like how the exposure was changing my attitudes, and I also really resented the time that I was spending, when there were so many other things I wanted to do with my time. Cal Newport's work, particularly Digital Minimalism, really influenced me, and I made a pact with myself I wasn't going to look at that site anymore. I've been really grateful and proud to have given it up, and I like myself more without it.

[Cascade]

I would find that person's posts oddly entertaining myself, so I understand the pull. Like someone else mentioned, if you block him you won't be able to see his posts even if they are public.