Tears don't stop

[mary_poppins]

hey,

i only started to process my childhood trauma a month or more so ago. and..i noticed that when i am triggered the tears keep coming; it is hard to do something else when you're constantly crying and exhausting yourself with it.

did you have this happen to you as well? as if everything triggers you and you're constantly crying over how terrible your parents are and how you deserved better? i don't think there is a bigger sadness in the world-to lose your parents to NPD and needing to cut them out because of it.

[bloomie]

mary_poppins - I know we have to get through the responsibilities of our day and being quick to tears is a bit to manage, but I found this was part of the process and it doesn't last forever. At least for me it didn't.

You are so right, this is a very hard way to lose our parents.

[Rebel13]

Yes, I've definitely been in that space where the pain is so close to the surface it comes out frequently, and at really inconvenient times!

Do you have a therapist? I started working with a trauma therapist a few months ago and it has been unbelievably helpful already. There has been a lot of research into CPTSD and related resources over the last couple of decades and there are lots of resources out there! I've put some of the things that have been helping me into the Other Media Resources section. I hope maybe some of it will be useful to you, but there is lots of help all over this forum. I really hope you find things that help you cope during this hard time.

[mary_poppins]

Thanks, guys. I didn't post here because I felt much better. You are correct, these times do not last forever.
I learned that when I get triggered or have a breakdown, it takes a couple of days, maximum a week to get back on my feet. No, I don't have a therapist, getting a therapist who knows about cPTSD and NPD in Europe is challenging. I had many bad therapists and will have to gather a lot of courage to try another therapist.

Good thing that crying and breakdowns are part of the cPTSD healing process

[mary_poppins]

Yes, I've definitely been in that space where the pain is so close to the surface it comes out frequently, and at really inconvenient times!

Do you have a therapist? I started working with a trauma therapist a few months ago and it has been unbelievably helpful already. There has been a lot of research into CPTSD and related resources over the last couple of decades and there are lots of resources out there! I've put some of the things that have been helping me into the Other Media Resources section. I hope maybe some of it will be useful to you, but there is lots of help all over this forum. I really hope you find things that help you cope during this hard time.

I'll check out those resources, ty!

[Rebel13]

I'm so glad to hear you are feeling better. Thanks for the reminder that these episodes don't last forever. I find it so easy to forget that!