Frozen

[Val]

Hello. I am new here. I'm looking for specific tips on how to get my narcissistic boyfriend to move out of my house. About five weeks ago, I gave him a letter asking him to leave and telling him I no longer want to be with him or am in love with him.

He went through many emotions, told me I can't Just snap my fingers and get him to leave. He has not left and often acts like nothing ever happened And we are back to normal.

I know what he is doing, but the whole situation has been So draining that I ended up getting sick. Since then, I feel like I have lost my courage and determination to get him out. My mind feels foggy about my feelings for him and the entire situation, But I know we have no real future.

Although I am not afraid of him physically, I am afraid to start this whole conversation again and am dreading his reaction. We work in the same industry And know a lot of the same people, So I don't want to do something too drastic. I still do care about him.

Does anyone have any tips and specific words/Actions to get him to finally leave as peacefully as possible?

Thank you

[Rebel13]

Oh Val, I'm so sorry you are going through this. This is a very difficult situation.

Unfortunately, we only have control of our own actions, not anyone else's.  There are many ways to get someone to move out, depending on the situation, but they may or may not go peacefully or like you afterwards. You might have to let go of the "how" if you really do want him to leave.

Even if the situation is not abusive, your local domestic violence agency might be a good resource for you in terms of your legal rights and strategizing/making a plan to get him to leave. I would suggest contacting an agency like that if you can, as they will be able to help you with the specifics of your particular situation, the laws in your area, etc.

Good luck and please keep us posted on how it is going for you.

[Val]

Thank you so much for your response and your kind words:)

[notrightinthehead]

Your best hope is, he finds a new supply. In the meantime, make yourself as unhelpful as possible. Study the toolbox, especially medium chill, grey rock, JADE. Interact as little as possible with him and do not make his life comfortable at all. Become the ice queen.
You want this person out of your life, be consistent in your behaviour to show him that.
I understand you are worried that he could bad mouth you in your work environment. But you have no control over that. He will, or will not do this, which ever he decides.
Good luck!

[Val]

Thank you for the advice! much appreciated:)