Money Issues

[TurnThePage]

BPDH seems to think what he makes is his money and what I make is his money.

Always had a joint account until about 10 years ago when I got sick of him spending all the money in the account.  Opened my own account (which caused a Huge fight) so this could no longer happen.

What he makes he can spend on what he wishes, I would never tell him otherwise.

Problem is....he  spends More than what he makes which recently has made me to have to put money into his account to cover his expenses.  (I pay all vehicle insurance, phone, utilities, food, etc....)  He pays for health insurance for both of us.


Other than letting him pay Huge interest rates on what he owes or letting him default on payments unsure how to handle this.

I have told him to control his spending and he just laughs and say "his bank"(me) will take care of it. 

[Call Me Cordelia]

Well... "the bank" does take care of it. If you were to stop shielding him from the consequences of his choices, what would be the consequence to YOU? I'm wondering if there are some you haven't shared, or that you are afraid of other than the health insurance entanglement. From what you write you already cover the lion's share of joint expenses.

"What he makes he can spend on what he wishes, I would never tell him otherwise." Is that a two-way street? As a wife, you do have say over how he spends money. In a healthy marriage, money can be "our" money and be put to use to realize your goals together. As it is, one person's selfishness is dragging you both down. Even if you are okay financially due to the boundaries you've put in place, there is a huge opportunity cost from waste that will have an outsized impact on you in the future. You are missing out on the future security that in my opinion a husband and wife should want for each other.

[notrightinthehead]

Other than letting him pay Huge interest rates on what he owes or letting him default on payments unsure how to handle this.

I would find out how I can legally separate our finances. And then go ahead and do it. There is no need for you to go down with a financially irresponsible person. Put on the parachute. He can only behave like that because there are no consequences for him as you pick up after him and rescue him. This is what you might do if he was your teenage son, not your partner. Let him experience the consequences of his behavior and let him sort out his own situation.