Top 10 hits of Christmas with PD's - crazy PD "gifts"

[treesgrowslowly]

Hi all,

This topic is well covered in our forum, because it's so ubiquitous! The dreaded PD gifts...!

As I write this, there is a bag of items from the PD's. It is what they wrapped up and "gave" for Christmas. It is candy we don't like, deodorant we don't use, odd toiletries we don't use, and junk from the dollar store that we don't need and I will donate / throw out next week.

After all these years, they refuse to learn who we are.

This bag of junk, is worse than no gift at all. Just a bag of dysfunction basically.

Every year I go through this, and thankfully I forget about it within a few weeks.

What bothered me briefly yesterday, is that I had helped DH choose gifts for them, and I couldn't help but do this in a thoughtful manner. Which - after I was reminded of HOW little they think about us and our preferences, and how PD they are, I felt angry about. Why didn't I just buy them nonsense junk from the dollar store too?

I kinda hope I have the wisdom to check back here next November and read this before I go and spend ANY time thinking about thoughtful (costly) gifts for these people. I guess that was a relapse, when I was buying their gifts. Using my empathy on people who do not deserve it. 

I'm grateful for this place where we all get it. The crazy PD gift is as part of the holiday season as Mariah Carey's song on heavy rotation at every mall lol. And like the christmas songs we hear over and over until the 25th, may we all be able to put all of the holiday PD nonsense behind us for another year now.

Trees

[Call Me Cordelia]

Save the bag of stuff, swap the tag, stuff in back of closet until next year. "This made me think of you!" Done. 

[bloomie]

Save the bag of stuff, swap the tag, stuff in back of closet until next year. "This made me think of you!" Done. 

I'm grateful for this place where we all get it. The crazy PD gift is as part of the holiday season as Mariah Carey's song on heavy rotation at every mall lol. And like the christmas songs we hear over and over until the 25th, may we all be able to put all of the holiday PD nonsense behind us for another year now.

Oh, the gifts and grandiosity that often can accompany them. 

[Associate of Daniel]

OOo!  I'm ashamed to say that I'd be VERY tempted to give them a bag next year with identical gifts.  Keep the bag they gave you and when they complain about what you give them, pull out the bag they gave to you and ask why it's ok for them such gifts to you but it's not ok for you to give them the same.

But 1:  We all know how that would end (or not end) and 2: That misses the mark.  As you say, they refuse to learn who you are.

Thankfully my years of pd gift giving seem to have passed. The memories of those years still have me grinding my teeth though.

Sorry.  I've just had a really disappointing Christmas lunch with my non pd relatives so I'm probably not being very helpful.

AOD

[walking on broken glass]

What bothered me briefly yesterday, is that I had helped DH choose gifts for them, and I couldn't help but do this in a thoughtful manner. Which - after I was reminded of HOW little they think about us and our preferences, and how PD they are, I felt angry about. Why didn't I just buy them nonsense junk from the dollar store too?

I identify with this so much! I love the process of buying a gift, the thought that goes into it and the joy it gives to the person. Unfortunately I found hard to turn off this trait when it came to buying presents for my BPDsis. I would spend time and energy and money, and every time there would be something wrong with the gift, while of course hers was always unique and exceptional (in her view). My mum would also praise my sister's gifts and criticise mine ('your sister doesn't wear this type of socks', 'this will be too small for her', 'she doesn't like this colour' etc.). Well, this year I had bought her a pair of pyjamas but after my mum's explosion I decided there is no reason to keep up the pretence and the charade, and I kept them for myself. I am wearing them right now. They are very comfortable and warm and cozy and have sort of become a symbol of regaining my freedom from her 

[Rebel13]

LOVE the ideas of "regifting" the thoughtless junk gifts back next year! And keeping the awesome thoughtful gift (pajamas!) for yourself.

Contributing the idea to just buy a gift card (if you feel a gift is necessary at all, that is). It's pretty much the least thought and effort you can expend; they're everywhere, or you can even get one online and have it sent via email. Then you don't even have to buy a card!!

[treesgrowslowly]

Hi all,

Thanks for all your posts and replies!!

I did manage to wrap and send over one cheap item that they had sent over here as a gift last year - and they probably didn't realize it.

Walking on Broken Glass- yay! Enjoy those comfy pyjamas!!

Well, that hoopla is over for another year.

Trees

AOD, sorry to hear about your disappointing lunch.

[Laurie]

I received a roll of toilet paper that was nicely wrapped with a picture of a reindeer that said "Do the Twinkle"  .