Tried sharing a bed again

[Rebel13]

Oooh yeah that's a good one.  These lines really popped out at me as relevant to what zad is dealing with.

"the more abuse targets comply, the less satisfaction the abuser derives from each act of compliance, and the more the abuser escalates to get the same hit of dopamine or whatever the fuck it is that abusers derive from controlling other people."

I think this is what SonofThunder was talking about in the other thread when he said:

Choosing compliance is not only a lose by providing the feed for the PD in the present situation, but it sets up the non for future losses. Choosing compliance in a double bind setup is incentive for the PD to continue crafting similar scenarios. If we are compliant in the current situation, will we be compliant each time the PD similarly repeats the scene? 

Also:

"If there's one thing that abusers and other kinds of bullies excel at, it's creating lose-lose situations that leave you second-guessing yourself about whether it's worth it to confront their bad behavior or easier to just let them win."

"If your partner wants the stimulation of a fight and an excuse to escalate, he will find one, and the quiet compliance that worked all the other times will become the pretext. "What, you're just gonna sit there and let me take it? I thought you had more backbone than that!" His bad behavior will always be both your problem and your fault if he has his way."

Yikes. It's so chilling. It makes my stomach hurt just thinking about it.