welcome mat lol

[scapegoat]

not sure if the name of this section of the forum was meant to be ironic but it's very clever, if so!

i have been Out of the FOG a very long time... i'm in my mid-30s and was a teenager when i started calling things out in my family/household. hence my username! hopefully folks are familiar with the archetypes of children raised by addicts/narcissists.

i am happy to be here - just finding out about this community now. after a long and stressful journey to find a life partner who is not also abusive, i am in a safe relationship with a wonderful man who is the first to fully acknowledge what happened in my family, and the first to see my mother's episodes. he is a medical professional and has informally Dx her with BPD after seeing episodes, but when i explain other symptoms and experiences of my upbringing, he agrees she is more narcissistic and histrionic than BPD (while still exhibiting symptoms of BPD as well).

i have also joined out of the storm, under the same username, as i believe i experience C-PTSD from my upbringing with my cluster B mother, and have very recently gone no-contact, after many years of attempting a strained low-contact relationship.

i am speaking with all of my siblings again, for the first time in years, as my mother also caused trauma in them (of course) and as a result, we have fractured relationships with each other and i was not on speaking terms with my youngest sibling for several years.

hoping to get to have the opportunity for family therapy with my siblings, sans mother, as we all think she is a lost cause, as she has been too mentally ill for many decades and has serious alcoholism. she seems too alcoholically-brain damaged and senile at this point, and she has always been stubborn to the point of being antisocial, so we have resigned to just... coping... until we no longer have to.

thanks for reading!! hopefully this is an appropriate intro.



PS:
also would love to know if anybody knows of a website that has any assessments for all cluster B disorders, like, on a matrix or continuum, if you will? since my mother demonstrates traits of all narc/bpd/histrionic/antisocial, it would be interesting to be able to answer questions that quantifies/qualifies the level of each? i don't know if it would be helpful or not, but i am deeply curious because i know she would never get a formal diagnosis because her level of denial is unmatched.

[bloomie]

Hi and welcome to Out of the FOG! I am thankful you have made such headway in your recovery from the complex trauma of growing up with a mother who is not healthy enough to provide you with safety and the nurturing you so deserve.

It has to be wonderful to be in a relationship with someone who is supportive and insightful! Well done! At the same time the rebuilding of the relationships with your siblings has to be hopeful, yet realistic.

I look forward to supporting you and seeing you out on the forum boards! Glad you are here and that you also found our sister site Out of the Storm. So many here find participating at both sites to be of very good help! I hope you will, too!