Hello

[Cacao]

Hi 

Very dysfunctional home, passive father, N domineering mother, scapegoat (me) and golden child. Apart from NM and GC, we are separated and living in different locations/countries, and it's barely a family due to NM's actions.

I am low LC with NM but seriously considering NC. Hoping this forum will give me a better idea of how to navigate NC with a NM.

Edit: To be clear, my mother hasn't got the diagnosis. Almost every family member believes she is a narcissist now she's aging and tired of keeping up appearances.

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the group (and ty for reporting the spam post!)

distance is definitely a gift when considering going from LC to NC.  in my situation, I am not my mother's only child but I am the only child my mother raised, so that made it a little easier bc I didn't have a sibling who may not be on the same page as me.  my HD and 3 out of his 4 living siblings are LC with their mom when they need to be and one thing that makes it work for them is they BACK each other up when MIL starts to make one of them into a target and it makes her back down.

if you get a chance to check out the toolbox- there's a lot of tips/ suggestions on what you may be able to do on your end to manage both LC and NC with your mother.  https://outofthefog.website/toolbox-intro

when you are ready to share more about what brought you to this decision- we're listening

[bloomie]

Adding another warm welcome, Cacao!

It is staggering how one person in a family dynamic can cause such a scattering and disconnection between all of the family members.

I am sorry you are in this position, but thankful you have found a community of fellow travelers.

Looking forward to supporting you as you settle in and begin to share.

[Cacao]

Hi, thanks xredshoesx ( you're welcome )!

Distance is an amazing thing, if only it were enough! 

Thanks for sharing your experience, it must have been hard. NC seems so final, but yeah, I'd not considered how it would look if I had backing. It's good your HD has support, even LC can be hard.

The reasons are a stars aligning moment, with all kinds of different things making it look easier to have a clean break. It's very sad, and something I'll probably go back and forth on. She's just such a massive liability. Maybe it's even best for her, I think I just trigger something in her.

Hey Bloomie Thanks for the welcome!

Yeah, I've never known a more destructive person. She's so self absorbed and oblivious to everyone else, she's been a kind of catalyst, a butterfly effect. Massive, life changing things she's been behind, and she either doesn't know or doesn't care.