2 Years Out

[SeaBreeze]

Tomorrow marks 2 years out from a 25 year-marriage to ex-uNPDH #2! I will say, 2 years flew by faster than expected, even if it took me forever to get here!

Year 2 saw things settling down as I settled more comfortably into my new home and new job. The divorce was final, and while I accepted less than half of what I was legally due, I received more than I'd originally been willing to negotiate for. (Thanks to an experienced attorney and advice here on Out of the FOG!)

The job is going well, with 2 promotions and raises within just a few months apart! And now I've been offered a potential 3rd promotion that presents an exciting shift in my career. With that being said, due to recent staff emergencies I've been putting in extra hours, skewing my work/life balance in favor of work. Thankfully, things are getting back to normal schedule-wise. I'm off work today, in fact, and went out earlier to take in the beautiful spring-like day after a recent winter storm.

I admit I still occasionally, randomly, feel sadness over leaving ex. I've learned it's okay to feel that sadness. I know it doesn't mean it was wrong to leave; it just means I'm still processing some grief. But mostly, I don't think about ex as much anymore. We remain cordially VLC, with current communications regarding the sale of the marital home which is still in process.

Without a PD spouse at the center of my time and energy, I've enjoyed some very calm, peaceful days. While I cherish that peace, I've actually started taking it for granted, which I see as a good sign that this is my new normal! On the other hand, I'm still learning how to fill that space. As mentioned above, work/life balance was a bit out of whack in recent months, with my spare time often lost to doom-scrolling on my phone. I've taken steps to regain my time, manage my phone use better, and rediscover hobbies that are both pre-PD *and* pre-smartphone.

Yes, less phone time means less visits to Out of the FOG as well. I still check in to see how everyone is doing at their respective stages in this journey. I definitely wanted to share this update and say there is life after PD, even for those of us in our middle age/early senior years!

Tomorrow begins Year Three Out. I will continue building my career while balancing my personal life and exploring interests new and old alike. I'm working on new exercise and nutrition goals for 2025. I am hoping to buy a home, maybe even build one? I'd like to travel, maybe take a cruise or yoga retreat. Or, maybe I'll just stay in my cozy apartment doing embroidery while watching travel shows. But... it's my choice!!! 

[Rebel13]

What a great update! I'm happy for you that you are doing so well and making the life that you want for yourself!

[SonofThunder]

What a great update! I'm happy for you that you are doing so well and making the life that you want for yourself!

I love a positive update! +1 on the happiness for you SeaBreeze!  Hope year 3 is continued steady progress toward your goals!

SoT

[square]

I'm also very glad to hear of your progress. Posts like yours are also important to those of us in a different stage, regardless of whether we are on a path toward separation or not.

My favorite part of your update? The part where you are thinking of your future. Having hopes and dreams and plans seems so fundamental to our spirits.

[escapingman]

Great update, thank you!

[StartingHealing]

What a great update SeaBreeze!  May this year will be my 2 year mark and I hear you about peaceful days.  I sometimes have moments, less and less as time goes on, where a spot of grief will come up.  Doesn't last long. 

I'm doing something similar with less digital stuff.  I removed all social apps off my phone.  To put me in control of when and where I access that stuff.  I do need to take my 32mm film camera out for a lark.

Wishing you all the best!

[Stillirise]

Yay, SeaBreeze! I just logged in for the first time in a while, because it has now been 5 years for me!  Thinking back to who I was 5.5 years ago, the stories from folks where we are now gave me the courage to move forward. 

Life definitely keeps getting better!