new to this forum

[flowerpower]

Good morning
I was told about this forum from The uk Domestic Abuse helpline
I'm 60 years old and now am looking after myself rather than everyone else and I'm not going to appologise
My Mother who died 3 years ago at the age of 97 was a covert narcissist
My first husband was a malignant narcisist and tried to kill me but didn't suceed but for the great good to the world dropped down dead in the street from a heart attack at the age of 62
Now after 12 years of marriage I find that it has been an entire act which he has played the starring role and I have been his puppet, housekeeper, cleaner, personal assistant.He was diagnosed with cancer 2 weeks ago ( not one which will kill him) After he said last week that it was unfortunate that my first husband hadn't suceeded in his attempt to kill me- I no longer wear a wedding ring and I live at the other end of the house.His sons rarely contact- I totally understand why.I cannot leave due to the trauma bond he has with me and also financially.I told him today I was never sharing a bed with him ever again- his response was ok shrugged his shoulders and contued to read the paper-confirming my thoughts that I'm just a servant to him.
I am so grateful for this forum I know supporting each other as only we  really know the truth is the way forward x

[bloomie]

flowerpower - welcome! I am thankful you have reached out to this community for support. I am also thankful you have reached out to a Domestic Abuse helpline to assess your safety and give you good insights going forward.

All that said, I am sorry that those you have entrusted your heart, life and energies to are not healthy enough to love you as you deserve.

There is a great toolbox and many resources at the dropdown menus above. Other online resources and books others have found helpful. Make good use of all that has been gathered for you here.

The insights and hard-won understanding of the people that make up this community has been like nothing else I have experienced in my own healing and day by day recovery from complex trauma. As you enter into the conversations taking place on the forum boards, my hope is that you will be encouraged and strengthened.

You are not alone. You will see bits of your own story in the stories of others. As hard as it is to think others have suffered similar harm and wounding to us, there is a type of kinship and instinctive knowing and understanding many in your daily life don't have I have found.

I wanted to point you to a tool called The Mosaic Method found here: https://www.mosaicmethod.com

It is a tool that is private and free that helps one assess their risk and helps determine your safety in your current relationship.

Keep coming back, and when you are ready, join the conversations taking place on the forum boards!

[notrightinthehead]

Just wanted to add my welcome!

Now that you have come Out of the FOG the hard road to recovery has begun. I am glad you join us.

[flowerpower]

Thank you for your welcome.
I feel totally betrayed and the flying monkeys of his family who are also narcissitic are now coming to his aid in order to boost him and injure me.
I absolutely know that I don't deserve this
How can somebody laugh a 60 year old woman whos dreams have been pummled to dust
WHose heart is broken and feels like all her certainty in life has gone

[flowerpower]

I'm really sorry because I'm new to the forum and not sure where to post.I have a personality disordered husband of 12 years.My first marriage was to a diagnosed malignant narcissist who tried to kill me.
I'm now 60 years old and I know the answer to this is it's because theyre not normal but my brain is trying to make sense and I just need some support as I sit here crying over my laptop.How can ahuman being sit with no emotion reading the paper and listening to the cricket knowing that his wife is on the verge of a nervous breakdown in the next room having been crying for two days non stop? How can they do it?

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the group

it takes a lot of courage to reach out.

people in relationships usually post in any/all of these parts of the forum.  the one thing we ask is for folks to not put the same post in more than one area

Chosen Relationships

Comitted to Working On It

Separating and Divorcing

I hope the hotline also helped you find some face to face resources within your community as well.  it's hard enough going this journey alone-