Codependence tips and tricks

[A.K Spark]

Hello!

I recently identified my Codependency. I have been struggling with actually acknowledging that it is there. You Know? Some things are really easy to explain away. Especially when your mind tries to avoid thinking about it and forms a "fog." I have since accepted that it is something real and now I am actually quite exited to se how i may evolve from this. It is a journey, but the steps i have been taking are really gratifying (more energy, less anxiety and so on)

Therefore i would like to maybe get tips and tricks. For example one trick i use are statements that i have decided to currently agree with - a phrase I have accepted as truth. Like not really rules but somehow facts that i can acknowledge and keep in mind when having "bad" thoughts. For example: "It does not have to be my fault that someone dislikes me." This phrase helps with seeing trough those bad thoughts. Or perhaps a more empowering one: I am not responsible for other peoples happiness.

Although that one might be a bit too broad for me to actually implement right now. 

[notrightinthehead]

Hi there - Welcome! Start with the first step of the CoDA program - I have no  control over over others. Not how they behave, not what they say, not what they think, not what they do. I cannot control others. You might find that quite liberating.

[bloomie]

A.K. Spark - Coda recovery work has been a huge help in my own recovery journey. I really like the thought replacing you are doing! I do that too.

You may have already found this resource, but in case you have not: https://coda.org

There is another area of study that has helped me as well and that has been to understand the trauma response of fawning and to begin to recognize when I move into that response and then to manage it. I am a work in progress with all of this, but have gained so much freedom, as you describe you are finding.

Here is a great explanation of fawning and the co dependency response: http://pete-walker.com/codependencyFawnResponse.htm

Keep coming back and sharing, asking questions, and letting us know how you are progressing!