2 years

[escapingman]

I am not on the boards often anymore, but I check in every now and then.

Just wanted to leave a quick update on where I am. This week it's 2 years since divorce was final and it's nearly 3 years of as close to no contact you can come. Finally I have stopped dreaming about uNPDxw and she is not having any space in my head anymore. I can say I have finally been able to move on mentally and I am no longer scared of and worried about bumping into her when out and about. Life is so good living PD free, I could never imagine how good it is (I have gone VLC with my FOO as well which has helped a lot). I have spent the last 2-3 years working on my self, watching self help videos, listening to all king of audiobooks for self help and it has helped. Looking back at it all uNPDxw helped me see my issues and my co dependency and thankfully I worked on it since.

After a very though first year after divorce me and DD have settled in and DD has calmed down a lot (she used to have massive moods and panic attacks). DD is having very low contact with uNPDxw and is avoiding going to her house. DD2 who lives with uNPDxw is just a ghost, when I see her, which is rarely, she is just a shell of herself and I can't get through. I have radically accepted this and grieved for her, but I always have a door open for her and I am ready for the day she wakes up and realise she has been duped.

Also want to encourage anyone still being together with a PD, it's a hard fight to get free but it will be harder to stay. Please get out as soon as possible because life on the other side is so good compared to staying.   

[bloomie]

escapingman - what an update! 

Brings tears to my eyes to hear of the healing and recovering that both you and your DD are experiencing! And the hope and love you hold onto for your other DD! Keeping that porch light on for her and I have to believe and hope with you that she will sometime soon come and join you and her sister.

Thank you so much for checking back in. It means a lot and is such a beacon of hope to those still in the deepest places.

You are doing your hard work and living in peace and that just makes my day to hear!!!

[SeaBreeze]

Thanks for the update! You've come so far in this healing journey.  So encouraging that you have found peace in your life. Truly heartwarming to read that DD is healing with you. And yet heartbreaking about DD2; just continue keeping that door open to her, both literally and figuratively, so she knows there is a safe space should she choose to seek one.

My youngest DS has healed so much since we became roomies 2 years ago. We have healed together and we have healed individually. I still struggle with guilt that I did not provide this safe space much earlier in any of my children's lives (let alone for my own self!) but youngest DS has vocally expressed his gratitude nonetheless.

Just that daily sense of peace makes a world of difference, doesn't it?? Here's to another year of peace and healing as you continue forward!

[escapingman]

For context, see this link for my first post here on Out of the FOG about 4 years ago.

https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=88194.msg754424#msg754424

[square]

You've come a long, long way.

And you've neen an inspiration to me!

Well done getting yourself and DD free of the chaos and heartache.

She wanted to murder you??

[hhaw]

I'm so glad to read your update, ((escapingman.))

It wasn't easy, but you've given your girls the chance to experience a more normal FOO.  That's a hard won gift, yup yup yup.

[SonofThunder]

A great update EM and thanks for taking the time to return and share.  Congratulations and well done!

SoT

[losingmyself]

Great update, EM!  

[JustKeepTrying]

Thank you for the update EM! So uplifting to read of your healing and strength.

[downwiththefog]

For context, see this link for my first post here on Out of the FOG about 4 years ago.

https://www.outofthefog.net/forum/index.php?topic=88194.msg754424#msg754424

congratulations on your escape and many thanks for the update with the back link. enjoy life!

[Fourdogs]

Congratulations! Remember your handle when I first found this site. You have done so well. Hope you check back in from time to time. Best wishes!

[Deby64]

Awesome hope filled update. Thanks for sharing. 🙏🏾

[Fourdogs]

Escapingman, congradulations and thanks for the update.

We started on this site roughly the same time. You made it to the finish line waaaay before me but today I am happy to say I am divorced.
Best wishes on your journey!
Hugs