Mom is too much for me to deal with

[walking on broken glass]

I finally stopped suggesting anything, because just like you said with your mom, the solution would just add another problem! 

My mother does this too - ChatGPT always helps me when I am trying to understand weird behaviors - I've got this for you:

What is a Help-Rejecting Complainer?

The term was coined by psychiatrist Jerome Frank. It perfectly captures the person who:

Complains relentlessly about a problem, often presenting it as a uniquely difficult or insurmountable situation.

Asks for or solicits help/sympathy by detailing their plight.

Rejects or finds fault with every solution or piece of advice offered ("That won't work because...", "You don't understand my situation...", "I tried that already...").

Offers no solutions of their own, often seeming more invested in the complaint itself than in resolving the issue.

That's very informative. I have always been triggered by help-rejecting complainers and I realize it's because I have been dealing with them in my family for years.

[Danie]

Help-rejecting complainer. HRC. 

I order her groceries bi-weekly by getting a message on my phone from her caregiver. My mom writes a list on lined notepaper in pencil, all CAPS. It fills a whole page and she makes up her own abbreviations. Then, caregiver snaps a photo and sends it to me so it is phone-sized. I send that to my e-mail and enlarge it and order from a really nice grocery store. She gets really detailed and specific: ounces, flavors, sizes, brands etc. It's actually pretty comprehensive coming from an 87 year-old. I've explained to her the whole process and how many steps it goes through because I do the order and the store gets it online and they have a separate "shopper" and a "delivery person". It cost $5.49 for the store to do the shopping. Since I do the payment (I get reimbursed by POA) I chose to tip the driver $10.00 and it drives mom nuts! She applied for a foodstamp card and got it (lied and forged POA's signature) to cover the $10.00 tip!! She keeps saying it - "to cover the tip". In other words, she's committing fraud and it's my fault.